


You Wear Your Best Apology

by GilgaNyan (NarryEm)



Series: History Makers!!! on ICE [12]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blow Job, Body Worship, Boys' Love, Explicit Sexual Content, Fingering, Fluff, Food Sex, Heavy Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Power Bottom, Reversible Couple, Riding, Rimming, Romantic Gestures, Sex, Smut, Teasing, Yaoi, versatile couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-08-30 08:42:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8526460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarryEm/pseuds/GilgaNyan
Summary: Fame and glory aren’t meant to live forever.  As the winds of springs sweeps through, the former champion and his coach are easily forgotten, replaced by the next young things.Then why is Yuuri trying so hard to hold onto the very person who has given those to Yuuri and surrendered up his own heart?





	1. Break My Heart in the Blink of an Eye

**Author's Note:**

> Title from “The Last Time” by Taylor Swift and Gary Lightbody
> 
> You don’t know the struggle I went through to write the perfect story for this song (Narry, Oikage, Kagehina, YuuMika . . .and even Nezushi). Anyway, the first chapter was written way before the season 1 finale so please bear that in mind.

 

There is a soft knock on the door.  Yuuri doesn’t even have to open up the door to know who that is beyond the thin barrier between them.

“Yuuri,” the painfully familiar voice croons as soon as Yuuri opens the door.

No greetings, no other words; they go straight to the main purpose of Viktor’s visit.  Yuuri lets himself be swept into Viktor’s arms, wrapped up in his warm, comforting arms as he throws himself into the kiss.  Viktor’s lips taste of cigar and cheap alcohol, which only means that tonight is going to be messier and more passionate than their usual bout.

As Yuuri takes Viktor to his room, his thoughts fall away to the better days.  The days when love was still in the air and the reality had not sunk in yet.

 

 

♥

 

 

“Yuuri~” Viktor crooned.  He leapt across the remaining distance between their bodies and latched onto Yuuri.   The other skaters in the waiting room did not even bat an eyelash as they had long gotten used to such antics from them.  Yuuri turned around and pushed Viktor’s face away.

“Time and place, remember?  The journalists are going to storm the room soon for pre-performance interviews.”

Viktor pressed his face to Yuuri’s and nuzzled him.  “Like I give a damn.  Let them know that we’re madly and deeply in love!”

Yuuri sighed.  He indulged Viktor with a swift kiss on the kiss just as the door creaked open.  Most of the journalists made a beeline for Yuuri.  He was still getting used to all of this attention that he was receiving.  He was more used to be the failed rising star, not the most likely skater to win the Grand Prix.  His hands trembled as he answered the routine questions.  He breathed a silent sigh of relief as Viktor’s hand found his and laced their fingers together.

One more performance.  One more judgment.

And then it would be over.

 

 

♥

 

 

As Yuuri landed the last time and transitioned into the spin, he knew that he had done it.  He did not even have to listen for the audience’s roaring cheers and thunderous applause to know the results.  Feeling numb everywhere, he picked up a few roses and plushies as he glided over to the Kiss & Cry.  Viktor handed a towel and his jacket over and squeezed him into a bear hug as they took their seat.

The announcer read off the score.  Yuuri’s heart stopped for a second as his scores are revealed.  It was his seasonal best and only two points off the current world record.  The rink filled with a chant of his name as the announcer declared him the new world champion.

Still feeling numb and detached, Yuuri went to the waiting room to get ready for the awards ceremony.  Minako chattered about how proud she was and his mom was in tears.  Minako’s eyes were also filled with tears as she applied some makeup to Yuuri’s face.

Yuuri was not yet ready to look at Viktor’s face properly.  He did not have to be as Viktor gripped his shoulders and spun him around.

“Yuuri!” Viktor exclaimed.  “We did it!  You’re the world champion!  I promised you, didn’t I?”

Maybe it was a momentary lapse in judgment.  Maybe he was still running on the post-performance high.  Maybe he was drunk off his first ever victory.

Whatever it was that drove Yuuri to his next action, Yuuri could not bring himself to regret it.

He grabs Viktor by the lapels of his jacket and draws him in.  He kisses Viktor full on the mouth.  He closes his eyes, shutting out the murmur from the crowd and click of shutters as photographers capture the kiss by the dozen.

“What are you going to do now?” Viktor chuckled, stroking Yuuri’s lips with his thumb.  “Now the whole wide world knows about us.”

“I, I don’t care,” Yuuri mumbled, feeling heat rush to his cheeks.  “Besides, weren’t you the one who wanted to go public with u-us?”

Viktor grinned, wrapping Yuuri up in his arms and kissing the top of his hair.  He pulled a disgusted face at the taste of the hair gel.  Yuuri laughed as he faced the journalists.

“Is it true then?  Are you two dating?”

Yuuri looked into Viktor’s eyes before he answered.  Viktor nodded, squeezing Yuuri’s hand.  “Yes, it’s true.  We didn’t want to comment on this until now because I didn’t want the world’s prime focus to be about our relationship.  I wanted to do my very best in the competition without the label of Viktor’s boyfriend being tacked onto me.”

“Tonight was the greatest moment in your career?  Do you still think that this will be you last season?  Will Viktor return to skating next year?”

Viktor snatched the microphone from Yuuri.  “That matter is still up for discussion.  Please stick with the questions for Yuuri; this is not about me.”

“The other Yuri placed second tonight, and JJ in third place.  What are your thoughts about the future of the men’s figure skating?”

Yuuri smiled.  “I think that as long as we have bright athletes such as Yuri, Phichit, Guang-Hong and Minami, the future is looking great.  I don’t think we will have to worry about possible absence of me or Viktor.”

The interview dragged on for another couple of minutes until the handlers came to fetch the winners.  Yuuri passed by Yuri as he walked up to the rink.  Yuri did not say anything, but his stern, determined face said it all.

He walked up to the podium, feeling as though he was walking on a mixture of clouds and pudding.  He vaguely recalled Viktor kissing him in front of the globally streaming cameras and then sweeping him off his feet.  Before Viktor took off, Yuri caught up to them.

“C-congratulations,” Yuri murmured.  “But know very well that I will be the champion next year! Got it?”

“Okay.  Congrats on your win, too—ah, Viktor!”

“Bye, Yurio.  I’ll see you around, ‘kay?”

Yuuri pounded on Viktor’s shoulders.  “Put me down!  They’re still taking photos of us!”

“Let them see our love.  And you know that I love it when you’re all embarrassed and cute like this.”

Yuuri pouted, but surrendered nonetheless.  Viktor did not put him back down until they reached their car as forewarned.  The impromptu exercise left Viktor totally out of breath, however.

“I’m getting too old for romantic shit,” Viktor lamented.

“Don’t worry.  If you can’t handle it, I’ll be the one sweeping you off your feet,” Yuuri joked.  Viktor’s eyes sparkled.  Oh, heck no.  Yuuri had only seen that light in Viktor’s eyes when he was either scheming something devious or he was horny or both.

Probably both in this case.

“Wha-what are you thinking?” Yuuri stuttered.

“I was thinking,” Viktor leaned over the seat, “that I am going to blow your mind tonight.”

“I think you were thinking about blowing something else, too,” Yuuri mumbled.

Viktor laughed.  He bumped his shoulder against Yuuri’s and laid his head on it.  “That too.  Work with me! I’m trying to be romantic here~”

“You don’t have to be anything for me,” Yuuri deadpanned.  “You can just be my Viktor.”

“‘ _Your_ Viktor’, eh?” Viktor echoed.

“Got a p-problem with that?”

Viktor grinned.  He kissed Yuuri on the lips slowly and sweetly.

“Nope.  ‘Cause you’re _my_ Yuuri, yeah?”

“One and only.”

As soon as they return to their hotel suite, Yuuri barely made it through the threshold.  Viktor slammed him up against the wall, attacking Yuuri everywhere with kisses, bites and sucks.  Yuuri was glad that he did not have to worry about marks being left as that would have been rather problematic to deal with.

“Viktor,” he murmured as Viktor slipped his hand down the front of Yuuri’s trousers.

“Yes, Yuura?”

Yuuri bit his lip.  “We’re still at the door.”

“Don’t care.  I can hardly wait when there is a feast laid out before my eyes.”

“That’s—you’re exaggerating,” Yuuri disagreed.  Inside, he still felt like a lump of fat and one too many pork cutlet bowls.

“Uh-uh.  I told you that it was my job to instill some confidence in you, didn’t I?  Looks like my job isn’t quite finished yet.”

“I’m fine with that,” Yuuri murmured.

Viktor flashed him a smile.  He moved his hand inside Yuuri’s briefs and gripped his cock.  Yuuri gasped, muffling the sounds on Viktor’s shoulder.  Viktor was getting way too good at this, having learnt all of Yuuri’s weak points and playing with them to drive Yuuri insane with want and need.

“Y-you too,” Yuuri gasped, hastily tearing Viktor’s trousers open and wrapping his hand around Viktor’s erection.  Viktor put both of his hands against the wall, pressing his body against Yuuri’s.  Yuuri continued to stroke Viktor’s cock, curling his fingers around his own erection as well.

Trying to stave off his orgasm was a foolish endeavour at this point.  It was easier to let it be and succumb to the overwhelming rush of rapture and bask in it time and time again.  He lifted one leg to squeeze it around Viktor’s waist and pull him in even closer as he came, moaning out Viktor’s name like a chant.  Viktor muttered something in Russian as he came a few moments later.  The front of Yuuri’s jacket was ruined, as were his trousers.  He could not bring himself to cleaning that up as Viktor kissed him breathless.  Yuuri hardly realised that Viktor had swept him up yet again to carry him off to the bed.

Yuuri bounced once on the mattress as Viktor threw him on there.  Viktor chucked off his clothes, advancing towards Yuuri on all-fours.  The way he moved even when he was off ice was elegant and mesmerising.  Yuuri watched as the muscles on Viktor’s body moved in a symphony of grace and beauty with each step that Viktor took.

“Like what you see?” Viktor purred, nipping on the shell of Yuuri’s ear and tugging at it.

“Maybe.  Maybe I’d like it better if I were naked with you.”  Holy crap, Yuuri is actually proud of himself for being able to say that without stuttering like a lovesick fool.  Wait.

“I’ll always keep my eyes on you, naked or layered up in winter clothes, Yuura.”

“Liar,” Yuuri accused.  “No one looks sexy in proper winter clothes.”

Viktor chuckled.  “We shall see when you come to Russia with me.  Be warned that the winters are brutal.”

“So I’ve heard.  But for now, shut up and kiss me, Viktor.”

“Your wish is my command.”

Viktor’s lips were hot and urgent against his.  Their warmth was seared into every part of Yuuri’s skin that they touched, from his lips down to his feet.  One of the many things that Yuuri had noticed was how Viktor loved to pay attention to every part of Yuuri’s body during sex.

“Stop it, Viktor.  That tickles,” Yuuri protested as Viktor skimmed his lips along the inside of Yuuri’s thighs.

“But your reactions are absolutely adorable,” Viktor pointed out, tongue snaking out to taste the crease between Yuuri’s thigh and groin.

“I want you to hurry and . . . take. . . me.”

Viktor sighed, collapsing on top of Yuuri.  Yuuri can feel Viktor’s hard-on poking at him.  If he moved his hips just right, it could create enough friction to—

“That’s not fair, Yuura.  I’m a sucker when it comes to you saying things like that.”

“Says you when you’re the one who—Viktor!”

Viktor turned around so that his bum was pointed at Yuuri.  He crouched down and took Yuuri’s entire cock into his mouth like it was nothing.  Yuuri whimpered, clutching at the sheets as the tip of his cock rubbing against the ridges of Viktor’s palate.

He couldn’t get behind.  He grabbed Viktor’s erection and guided it into his mouth.  Viktor’s cock twitched in his mouth as Yuuri spread Viktor’s butt cheeks with his thumbs.  He hadn’t taken on this role in a while but he supposed that tonight was as good of an occasion as any.

“Aha?  So you’re taking the lead tonight?” Viktor bemused, licking up the vein on the underside of Yuuri’s dick.

“I think I more than deserved it,” Yuuri replied, reaching for the nightstand for lube and condoms.

“Good thing I was prepared for practically anything tonight, then,” Viktor muttered.  He sucked in a breath as Yuuri nudged a slippery finger inside.

Yuuri was surprised to find out that the finger slid in with minimal resistance.  Come to think of it, Viktor’s hole felt rather stretched and moist inside.

“Did you. . . ?” Yuuri trailed off.

Viktor grinned, straightening up is back and turning back around. 

“Like I said,” Viktor plucked the packet of condom from Yuuri’s fingers and held it between his teeth.  “Prepared for _anything_.”

He ripped the packet open and placed the condom between his lips.  Yuuri watched in awe as Viktor rolled the condom down Yuuri’s erection with his mouth.  Seeing how skilled his lover was at these sorts of things, Yuuri often wondered if Viktor had had many male lovers before him.

“Ready?” Viktor crooned, poised above Yuuri and teasing Yuuri by rubbing the tip of Yuuri’s cock on his entrance.

Yuuri gritted his teeth.  He gripped Viktor’s hips and slammed him down.  Viktor gasped, mouth hanging open in a silent outcry as he took in all of Yuuri’s cock in one go.  Yuuri listened for Viktor’s breathing to calm down before he rolled his hips in figure-eights.

“I’m really getting too old for this,” Viktor chuckled, blowing his fringe away from his eyes.  Yuuri reached up and tucked the stray strands behind Viktor’s ear.  Viktor smiled as he turned his face and faced the centre of Yuuri’s palm.

“’S fine.  I guess that means that I’ll have to take care of your ancient, wrinkly bum.”

Viktor puffed up his cheeks.  “My ass is not wrinkly!”

Yuuri giggled.  He used Viktor’s distraction to push him up and then back down.  He could have come just from hearing Viktor’s unabashed moans and the lewd score of sounds that their bodies composed together.

“I’m joking.  I’ll still love you, wrinkly bum or otherwise.”

“Meanie,” Viktor pouted.  He held his arms out.  Yuuri sat up and enveloped Viktor in his arms.

“I love you,” Yuuri whispered, lips grazing Viktor’s lips.

“And I love you,” Viktor echoed.  He nibbled on Yuuri’s lips, tugging the bottom lip away and then suckling on it.  Yuuri waited until Viktor had had his fun to push him down and flip him to his stomach.  They rarely did it in this position as they preferred to see each other’s faces during sex.  But tonight was different.  He had no doubt that they would be making love until the sun rose.  They had plenty of time to marvel at each other’s faces.

It caught Yuuri off guard when he felt Viktor’s body tense up beneath his.  He reached around Viktor’s waist to confirm a streak of sticky fluid on Viktor’s stomach.

“V-Viktor?” Yuuri blurted out.  “Did you just . . .?”

“Please don’t say it,” Viktor groaned, face planted in the pillow. 

Yuuri pulled out and coaxed Viktor with kisses until he faced Yuuri again, albeit hiding his face behind his hand.  Yuuri could still see that the tips of his ears were beet red.

“I loved it,” Yuuri whispered.  “And I thought I was the only sensitive one here.”

Viktor pouted, narrowing his eyes.  This time it was Yuuri who was being pushed down to the mattress.  Viktor took the condom off Yuuri before he sank down upon Yuuri’s cock.

“I wanna feel all of you tonight,” Viktor purred, steeling himself with his hands on Yuuri’s chest.  “Make me yours.  All of me.”

Yuuri gulped. “I’ll be happy to oblige.”

 

 

♥

 

 

_“I have to settle a few things in Russia.  I’ll be back before you know it!”_

That was what Viktor had said eight days ago.  In the meantime, Yuuri had been the centre of every sport news.  Several times a day, some news crew would be waiting for him at the entrance of Yuu-topia to interview him.  Interviews were tougher to work through without Viktor by his side to guide and reassure him.  People were still wondering if Viktor would return to skating in the next season.  Honestly, Yuuri did not care which direction Viktor chose to go in.  He knew that this season would be his last regardless of the results.  It was almost amusing to watch the entire world hound him with questions after questions regarding his own skating career as well as Viktor’s.

His mobile rang, saving him for a rather persistent journalist from a sports magazine.  He politely turned her away as he must have answered close to twenty questions by now.

“Yuuri~” Viktor said cheerfully.

“Hi, Viktor.  You’ve been busy.”

“That I have been.  Turns out that I have a lot of things to discuss with Yakov.  He is still set against me retiring completely.  Not to mention that Yurio wants me to stay and coach him.”

“Well, I _am_ retiring,” Yuuri reminded him.  “He’ll be happy if you finally kept your promise.”

“You and he will never let that go, huh?” Yuuri could hear the pout in his voice.  Someone yelled at Viktor over the phone, sounding a lot like Yurio.  “Ah, gotta go.  I’ll see you in a few days.  Promise!”

“See you.”

“I love you, Yuuri,” Viktor said.

“I love you, too,” Yuuri said into the dead line. 

He sighed.  He missed Viktor so much that it was not fair.  It had only been eight days and he was already going through some type of withdrawal.  He spent nearly all day at the Ice Castle, which, again, sparked the topic of his return next season.  It was a mere distraction to keep his mind off of Viktor.

Yuuri padded upstairs to his room.  He had returned a couple of his posters of Viktor onto the walls.  One from Viktor’s junior days, and two from the previous season.  He also had a framed picture of them together during the Grand Prix Final.  Even in the photograph, Viktor’s eyes were overflowing with love and pure adoration. 

“Ah, screw it,” Yuuri muttered, diving into his bed.  He shucked off his pants and his underwear.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder, was it?  He had not realised how quickly he had grown accustomed to Viktor’s presence in his everyday life up until now.  All it took was a handful of months filled with memories that he can never forget.

Yuuri curled his fingers around his dick, recalling the look in Viktor’s eyes when he first skated Yuuri’s choreography for _In Regards to Love: Eros_.  The burning lust and raw sensuality still made Yuuri feel as though he could be impregnated by it.  He swiped his thumb across the slit, stifling a moan as it threatened to spill out.  This was not enough.  He wet his fingers, imagining that it was Viktor’s instead; how he would dart his tongue in between Viktor’s fingers until Viktor would play with his tongue or shove two fingers inside Yuuri at once.

He could get the lube, and he knows that it would be easier that way, but he simply did not have the patience for it with an impromptu dry spell.  Once his fingers were wet enough, he thrust one finger inside of himself.  He still was not satisfied, so he slipped in another one.  He groaned at the sensation of being filled.  It was nowhere near as good nor satisfying as the real thing but it would have to do.

His thoughts wandered back to the night of the finale.   Viktor had been exceptionally passionate that night, dripping sex appeal as the exited the arena and also throughout the night.  Yuuri had felt as though he would choke on the thick aura of sex incarnate, drowning in euphoria time after time.  That manages to tide Yuuri over, as he comes with Viktor’s name on his lips.

He couldn’t be bothered to shower and clean up properly.  Instead, he grabbed a fistful of tissues and wiped down what he could see.  He barely pulled the blanket over his naked lower half as he closed his eyes.  He could use a nap.  Being interviewed was a tiring business.  He had so much more respect for celebrities who did this everyday of their lives.

 

 

♥

 

 

Viktor still had not returned.

No, that’s a lie.  Viktor had touched down in Narita a couple days ago.  However, he had not quite tied up all loose ends in Russia so he had to fly back that very night.  Yuuri had no choice but to take a train to Narita and spend the day with Viktor there, only to watch him go after a handful of hours.

Later that night, when he was on the train back home, he went on a sports news website out of boredom.  He was shocked to see that his name and face were still the headline.  However, it was not for the reason that he would have preferred.

The article began with a congratulatory spiel for Yuuri’s victory.  Then it went downhill.  They were speculating that Yuuri and Viktor were facing relationship troubles.  They pulled up numerous ‘proofs’, such as the fact that Viktor rushed back home to Russia so soon after the finale and that he had been seen with other people.  The blurry photos of the women and men Viktor were seen with proved nothing, Yuuri knew that.  They were all skaters or some other athletes whom Viktor knew.  For a ‘news’ portal, the website was awfully unprofessional.

As ridiculous and unprofessional as it was, it still planted a small seed of doubt in the back of Yuuri’s mind.

 

 

♥

 

 

“How’s Russia?” Yuuri asked, putting the cleaning rag down on the floor.  His mom decided to clean out the entire place since it’s a holiday and that has been quite the workout.

“Freezing and lonely without you,” Viktor answered in a heartbeat.

“Sorry I couldn’t come see you,” Yuuri apologised.  He sat down, pouring himself a cup of tea.  “Business is booming and my family really needs an extra pair of hands.”

“No worries.  I can always just fly down to see you,” Viktor reasoned.

“You can’t!  Yurio is counting on you to be coach.  Where’s the Viktor who coached me to the top of the world?”  Although, that’s already a memory of something that happened over half a year ago.  During that period, he had only seen Viktor five times in the flesh, each time for a day or two.  It was never enough to satisfy his hunger for Viktor but he knew that it could not be helped.  He refused to be ‘that boyfriend’ who sought to micro-manage every aspect of Viktor’s life.

“He can just come with me,” Viktor suggested.

“Like hell I will!” Yuri shouted from the background.  “Come back and coach me already, you shitty coach!”

Yuuri chuckled.  “You should go back to training.  Sounds like your prodigy wants you for himself.”

“But you’re the only one in my life that I love this way,” Viktor reminded him.

“I know, I know.  I . . . miss you.”

“Miss you more.  Love you and talk to you later.”

“Bye,” Yuuri said.

“Was that Viktor?” Minako asked.  She was also here to help with the clean-out.

“Yup.  Thanks for helping out, Minako-san.”

“No problem.  Your mom and I go way back.  Is everything alright between you and Viktor?”

“Of course it is,” Yuuri smiled.  “Why do you ask?”

“Long distance is tough, kid.  Back when I traveled the world, I often got into fights with my ex.  He couldn’t trust the guys around me to keep their hands off of me.  We would fight over the tiniest, silliest things.  In the end, we couldn’t overcome the hurdle called distance and broke up before our relationship could get any worse.”

Yuuri’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach.  He would be lying if he told Minako-san that he wasn’t worried.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Viktor was freaking gorgeous and the talent he had was something that could not be duplicated.  He knew all too well that Viktor was popular amongst the sports fans.

“I believe in him; I believe in us,” Yuuri declared.  He clenched his hands into fists.  More than anything, he wanted to reassure himself.  Viktor was not the type of guy who would throw him away just because long distance was hard.  He knew that.

Minako-san patted him on the shoulder.  “I know.  I’m sorry for bringing that up.  Let’s get back to cleaning, shall we?”

Yuuri nodded.  Right now, he needed to take his mind off Viktor.  He needed to believe that they could work this out.

He had to.

 

 

♥

 

 

Yuuri knew that this was rash.  It was Christmas Eve and he was stranded at the Domodedovo International Airport.  A wiser course of action would have been to call up Viktor beforehand so that he would have had a sure-fire way to Viktor’s house.

With shaky hands, he dialed Viktor’s number.  Viktor picked up after three rings.

“Hello?” Viktor purred.  “How are ya?”

“I’m at the airport right now,” Yuuri blurted out.

“What?”

“I, uh, wanted to surprise you for your birthday.  I didn’t want you to spend your birthday by yourself.”

Viktor growled in Russian, the words sounding suspiciously like expletives.

“Hold on.  Stay in front of the international arrivals.  I’ll be there in a jiffy.”

It took Viktor close to an hour to arrive at the airport.  In the meantime, Yuuri had ordered a Russian pancake and a mug of cider.

“Yuuri!  Thank god you’re alright! How have you been?”  Viktor yelled across from the lobby. He wrapped his arms around Yuuri to lift him up and spin around a few times. He kissed Yuuri on both cheeks before putting him back down.

“I’ve been good.  You must have been very busy.  Yurio has been doing splendidly, hasn’t he?”

“Yes, yes.  I am so proud of him.  His tenacity truly reminds me of you.”

“I’m glad to hear that.  So, uh, I’m sorry for barging in like this.”

“No, no, it’s okay.  I’m so happy that you were thinking of me so much that you decided to pay me a surprise visit.  I already know that this will be my best birthday yet!”

“Ah, I’m relieved.”

Viktor grinned, pecking Yuuri on the lips so briefly that left Yuuri wondering if he had imagined it.

It should not have come as a surprise that Viktor owned a flashy red and white Maserati.  The back reads: GranTurismo MC Strandale Centennial Edition.

“How much money do you have to spare?” Yuuri asked jokingly as Viktor opened the car door for him.

“Enough to splurge on a fancy-ass sports car.  Sponsorship offers come in by the truckload when you are at the top of the world.”

“True.  I can’t believe that Adidas and even Salvatore Ferragamo offered to sponsor me.  Adidas and Lululemon, I can understand. But what does Ferragamo have anything to do with figure skating?”

Viktor snorted in laughter. “None at all.  They like to use pretty young things that are on the rise.  Well, you retired but the world still loves you.  I was the face of Burberry and Prada for a couple years.  Modelling is tiring work, Yura.  I have so much respect for professional models now.”

 Yuuri giggled.  “At least with Ferragamo it’s just your feet for half the shots.”

Viktor hummed his agreement.  “My place should be thirty minutes from here.  Traffic jam is a global pain in the ass.”

“You don’t say.”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little mind.  Why don’t you sleep ‘til we’re home?  I know that you have sleeping on the plane.”

“Thanks. You know me so well.”

“Of course I do.  You’re the one I love the most.”

Yuuri smiled, closing his eyes.  When he opened his eyes Viktor was carrying him into a two storey house.

“Mornin’, sleepy head.”

Maybe it was the dimmed lighting on the ceiling of the living room but something about Viktor looked extra angelic and ethereal.

“You’re exaggerating,” Viktor chuckled.  “Let’s get you to bed.  Romantic dinner can wait.”

Yuuri pouted, shaking his head.  He wound his arms around Viktor and pulled himself up for a kiss.

“Don’ wan’ wait,” he slurred.  He tugged at Viktor’s lower lip between his lips in the exact manner that Viktor would tease him.  He swung his legs down and sprang back up, wrapping encasing Viktor’s waist with his legs.

“Whoa, shit,” Viktor muttered as he swayed under Yuuri’s weight.  Yuuri was certain that he had not gained that much weight.

“It’s not that you’ve got heavy,” Viktor reassured him.  “I’m an old man now, remember?”

“You’re one hell of a sexy old man, then,” Yuuri countered.  For once, it was Viktor whose face was glowing red.  Viktor sighed, burying his face in Yuuri’s shoulder.

“When did you learn to play dirty like that?” Viktor whispered into Yuuri’s ear.  He must have given up on trekking upstairs as he lays Yuuri down on the sofa in the living room.

“I suppose that I learnt from the best.”

“Hmm.  Maybe there’s more that I can teach you.”

Yuuri ran his fingers through Viktor’s hair, hands resting on either side as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Make love to me,” Yuuri whispers.  “Sear your touches into my body so that I won’t forget your warmth when I’m alone in Japan.  Kiss me like tomorrow’s sun will never rise.  Make me forget that our time isn’t infinite.”

Viktor shook his head.  “Really, you . . .”

Yuuri did not get to hear what Viktor though of his little spiel as Viktor’s lips claimed Yuuri as his.  They could hardly wait to take their clothes off completely, opting to take off the tops and leaving their trousers pushed down just enough for them to feel each other.

The fireplace on the far wall crackled as Yuuri lost himself in Viktor and pleasure that only Viktor could give him.  Chalk it up to the long period of time spent apart but all the little things that Viktor did set Yuuri’s sense alight.  Time lost its meaning as Yuuri gave himself over to Viktor time and time again throughout the night and into the early morning.

 

The treacherous sun rose, illuminating the snow-covered landscape outside Viktor’s house.  Yuuri found himself nestled in plush blankets in a bed.  It took him a few minutes to realise that Viktor must have carried him upstairs whilst he was unconscious.  He looked around the room for something to wear as he was inexplicably nude.  Since his luggage was still in the car, or so he assumed, he had to make do with a t-shirt hung over the back of a chair.

Downstairs, Viktor was cooking them breakfast wearing only a pair of worn-in boxers and an apron.  Yuuri burst out laughing at the ridiculous sight, which Viktor joined.  Maccachin bounded out to them, barking in time with their laughter.

“H-happy birthday,” Yuuri said, kissing Viktor on the mouth. 

“Thank you.  Ah, food’s ready.”

“Enjoy~” Viktor said, kissing Yuuri on the forehead as he laid out their breakfast on the table

“Thanks.  Shouldn’t I be the one making you breakfast?  It’s your birthday,” Yuuri mumbled.  

“I should be allowed to do anything that I want since it’s my birthday,” Viktor pointed out.  “And what I wanna do right now is woo my boyfriend over with a home-cooked breakfast.”

Viktor handed him a mug of steaming oolong tea as he took a sip from his own.  Yuuri’s mug had a pig character on it, making Yuuri laugh.  To this day, Viktor sometimes called him ‘little piggy’ for the fun of it.  Yuuri wished that he could have come up with an original nickname for Viktor too, but he never had found the right one.  For breakfast, Viktor had prepared eggs cooked with kolbasa and tomatoes, toasts and syrniki.  A part of Yuuri dreaded the copious fats and calories present in those but he shook off the concerns. 

“Thank you,” Yuuri said, leaning across the table to kiss Viktor.

“Ah, I can’t do this,” Viktor groaned, hiding his face behind his hands.  “You’re eating breakfast in my kitchen wearing nothing but my t-shirt.  I wanted this to be properly romantic—y’know to make up for the time we spent apart.  Turns out, I can’t play the gentleman when it comes to you, Yura.”

Yuuri shrugged, forking up a piece of syrniki and biting off a morsel.  The texture of cottage cheese inside was weird but not unbearable.  He was about to have some of the eggs as well when Viktor lifted him up and spread him out on the part of the table that was not covered with food.

“Viktor!  What are you doing!” Yuuri yelped.  In his new position, there was nothing left to the imagination.  He pulled the hem of his (Viktor’s) t-shirt down in a modest attempt to cover him up.

“Eating breakfast,” Viktor smirked. 

He picked up the plate with the eggs and carefully balanced it on Yuuri’s chest.  He fed himself a bite and kissed Yuuri to push some of it into Yuuri’s mouth before he started chewing.  Being fed this way was not as gross as Yuuri would have expected.  In fact, it was a huge turn-on.  He continued to let Viktor feed him this way until they ran out of eggs.  Viktor gently rolled Yuuri over to his stomach; Yuuri reflexively raised his hips.  The Russian skater magically produced a packet of lube out of nowhere—come to think of it, Viktor seemed to have lube and condoms stashed in the sofa as well—and smeared it around Yuuri’s entrance.

Yuuri was still tender from last night’s bout of sex.  But he had to admit that he was delightfully sore and sensitive as Viktor’s tongue snaked out to lap at the puckered rim.

“You big tease,” Yuuri accused, gasping and trying to sound coherent.

“You love it,” Viktor retorted, right before he pushed his pointed tongue inside.  Yuuri’s whole body jerked at the touch, half of him wanting to jolt forwards and away from the sudden intrusion and half of him wanting to push back and beg for more. 

“Viktor . . .” Yuuri moaned, hanging his head low as Viktor traced his finger outside his hole.

“Yes?”

“You know what I’m going to say.”

Viktor nibbled on the rim lightly.  “Like I said.  It’s my birthday.”

Yuuri sighed.  He signalled for Viktor to back away as he turned back around.  Viktor arched a brow, scooting back to sit on the chair.

“I . . . want to see you when you do it. . . and I want you to be able to see my face as well.”

Viktor smiled.  He swung Yuuri’s legs over his shoulders and went straight in.  This time, he added two fingers along his tongue.  He kept eating Yuuri out until Yuuri came practically untouched.  Maintaining steady eye contact, Viktor wiped up the cum from Yuuri’s stomach with his fingers and sucked on them, creating loud, lewd sounds on purpose.

Breakfast took to the backstage as Viktor thoroughly sexed him out.  The cool, solid wooden table pressing onto his backside as Viktor’s hot body collided with his own was something new and enjoyable, Yuuri concluded.

“Are we just going to have sex all day?” Yuuri asked, half-joking as Viktor heated up the food that have gone cold.  He was starved from all the ‘exercise’ that Viktor put him through.  He sat perched on the edge of the table, swinging his legs.

“That’s not a half bad idea, actually,” Viktor mused.  “But I don’t think I can last that long.  Not to mention, there’s a fancy-ass dinner party starting at five.”

“Ah, shoot.  I should have given you a warning,” Yuuri scolded himself.  “I guess I’ll have to stay home.”

“Nonsense,” Viktor disagreed.  “You can wear one of my suits.  Besides, I think it’s every man’s dream to see his boyfriend dolled up and looking dapper in his own suit.”

“I think you have that mixed up with something else,” Yuuri laughed.  “Okay, fine.  I’ll do it.  What kind of party is it?”

Viktor shrugged.  He walked over to Yuuri and stood between Yuuri’s legs as he set the plates down.  “Something to do with athletic stuff and influential rich, pompous assholes.  I think Yurio will be there, too.”

“Yuri?  Isn’t he too young for formal functions like that?”

“That’s what I said, too.  But the crowd loves him and he has been named the number one figure skater in Russia recently so it’s unavoidable.  Trust me, Yurio absolutely hated it when he received the invite.”

Yuuri giggled as he imagined how Yurio would have looked.  They finished eating breakfast.  Yuuri was about to go upstairs and peruse through Viktor’s wardrobe when he was pulled back.  He was spun around and faced with Viktor’s eyes that were full of lust.

“We won’t be able to go all day but maybe we can manage half a day,” Viktor purred.  “Care for some seconds?”

Yuuri grinned, kissing the corner of Viktor’s mouth.  “Like you had to ask.”

 

 

♥

 

 

Yuuri squinted as he was bombarded with another round of camera flashes.  Thankfully, Viktor shielded their eyes from the worst of them. 

Walking down the red carpet to reach the Ritz-Carlton was even more terrifying than Yuuri had anticipated.  He supposed that he looked the part in a simple black tuxedo.  Viktor looked like a proper movie star in an ivory three-piece suit with a rich wine-red shirt worn without a tie that complemented his silver hair bright blue eyes.  Viktor squeezed Yuuri’s hand, which was probably how Yuuri kept himself from tripping over his own feet and making an utter fool out of himself. 

As they walked through the front doors, they were met with even more photographers and journalists.  A scantily clad woman was ready for them.  She spoke in rapid Russian and then looked at them expectantly.  Viktor paused before he translated for Yuuri.

“She wants to know what you think about Russia.  And what you like best about me.”

Yuuri could feel his entire face turn redder than Viktor’s shirt.  “It’s a beautiful country.  It doesn’t snow this much in my hometown,” he replied in halting English.  Of all the times that his brain could have a malfunction, it had to be this precise moment after years and years that were spent learning English.

The woman asked them another question.  Viktor chuckled.  “She wants to know what you think about me as your boyfriend.  I’m surprised that they’re acknowledging this since, y’know, our lovely president is extremely anti-LGBTQ.”

“Ah, uhm, he’s very kind to me.  I love him very much and I know that he loves me,” Yuuri stammered.  Great job, Yuuri.  Way to sound like the confident, sexy skater who won the Grand Prix last year.

Viktor said something to her and she nodded before she set off to harass—interview another celebrity who has just arrived.  Viktor did not stop laughing as they made their way to the dinner hall.

“What’s so funny?” Yuuri groused.

“Nothing.  I don’t think I have seen you this flustered since the qualifier match in Japan against the kids.”

“Cut me some slack.  I’m totally out of my element here.”

Viktor slid his hand up to Yuuri’s waist. “Don’t worry.  I won’t let them gobble you up.”

“What—eh?  What do you mean?”

Viktor laughed, shaking his head.  “Ah, there’s Yurio!  Yuri!”

True to Viktor’s words, Yuuri spotted the younger Russian walking towards them.  He was not scowling but it was easy to see that forcing a smile for the cameras was pissing him off.

“Hi,” he growled.  He was wearing a blazer over a black t-shirt and black jeans.  It could have been worse, Yuuri thought.  “When did you get here?”

“Yes-yesterday,” Yuuri replied.

“Ugh.  Are you here for Viktor’s birthday?”  Yuuri nodded mutely.  Yuri still scared the crap out of him.  “Whatever.  Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Yuuri echoed.

The party was extravagant, to say the least.  Even though Yuuri was not well-versed in Russian pop culture, he could recognise a few faces of the celebrities and even some of the athletes.  A lot of the attendees approached Viktor, only to whisk him away from Yuuri to chat about something.  Yuuri did not mind as he was an introvert himself.  Yuri must have taken pity on him as he pretends to grab some food for himself next to Yuuri the fifteenth time that Viktor was taken away, this time by a beautiful actress with sharp hazel eyes.

“Wishing you didn’t come?” Yuri asked, taking a sip of what looked like champagne.  Wasn’t that illegal?

“Speak for yourself.  Should you be drinking that?”

“Ah?  It’s sparkling juice.  I’m not that stupid, you old pig,” Yuri growled.

“Sorry, sorry.”

Silent filled the air for a coupe minutes as Yuuri scrambled for something, anything to say.

“It’s awful, isn’t it?” Yuri broke the silence.

“Pardon?”

“Knowing that you and your darling boyfriend belongs in two different worlds.  Try as you might, but there is nothing you can do to overcome that.  You’re a retired skater who lives in Japan; Viktor is now the hottest coach in the figure skating world.  You are a fool to think that it will all work out.”

“I think,” Yuuri gritted out, “you’re just jealous.”

“Jealous?” Yuri scoffed.  “I’m the one who spends the most time with Viktor now.  I’ve no need for his love since all I need from him is guidance as a fellow skater.  You think that you can make up for lost time with these cute little visits?  You remember what it’s like for an athlete.  Soon, you’ll realise the error of your ways.”

Yuri slammed the glass down on the table before striding away.  Yuuri soon lost the sight of him in the crowd.  As if on cue, Viktor waded through the people towards Yuuri, carrying two champagne flutes.

“Yuuri~” Viktor said, grinning brightly.  “Got these for us.  Sorry about all these summon.  I wish they’d stop doing this.”

“I’m—I want to go home, Viktor,” Yuuri blurted out.  “I’m tired and not feeling well.”

Viktor’s knit together into a frown.  “Are you sick?  You never did do well in parties.  Here, I’ll take you home.”

“No, I can’t let you do that even if it is your birthday.  Everyone wants a piece of you.  I know your address; I can get home safely.”

Yuuri pulled Viktor in to kiss him on his cheek before he walked away.  He managed to stop himself from turning around and let Viktor talk him out of this.  He had to leave.

Because he did not belong, just as Yurio said.

 

 

♥

 

 

“I can’t believe that you’re leaving already,” Viktor lamented, nearly choking the air out of Yuuri as he squeezed Yuuri in a hug.

“New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day tends to be one of the busiest days for my family business,” Yuuri explained with a shrug.  He took a deep breath.  He could do this.  He was strong enough for this.  This was for Viktor’s sake.

“Yuuri—”

“Let’s break up, Viktor,” Yuuri cut him off.

Viktor blinked.  Once.  Twice.

“What?  I don’t think I heard you right, Yuura.  I could have sworn that you said that we should break up.”

“I did.  It’s for the best.”

Viktor gripped Yuuri’s wrist as Yuuri tried to turn away.  “Why?  We love each other, don't we?  If this is because of the long distance, I can arrange to visit your more often!  I’ll make this work, dammit!”

“You can’t,” Yuuri wailed.  “This isn’t something that can be fixed by cute little visits.  I was a fool to think that we could do this long distance.  Every day that I spend away from you, a small piece of my heart dies.  I can’t be in a relationship with you knowing that you’ll be so far away from me.  I have to break up with you _because_ I love you.  It hurts, Viktor.   It hurts that I can’t be selfish and have you all to myself.” Yuuri wrenched his hand out of Viktor’s grasp.

He allowed himself one final glance over his shoulder.  “Goodbye, Viktor.  Thank you . . . for everything that we had.”

“Yuuri!” 

He bit his lower lip, tearing rolling down his cheeks.  If he turned around now, all would have been for naught.

“Yuuri!  Look at me in the eye and tell me that you want to end this!” Viktor yelled.

Yuuri didn’t.  He had to stay strong. 

“I’m sorry.”

He could see and hear people whisper as he walked past them.  He breezed through the security and sat by a corner at the gate.  The plane was delayed by three hours but Yuuri hardly took notice of it.  He felt numb all over, as though something had sucked the life out of him.  It all came crashing down as the plane took off.  He could not hold back the tears, so he threw the thin blanket over his head and sobbed into it.

This was for the greater good.  With this, he could set Viktor free.  Viktor deserved so much better than someone like Yuuri.

That had to be it.

Because if Yuuri didn’t believe it himself, he would forever hate himself for that look on Viktor’s face as he walked away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know why or how but I always end up writing at least one food sex in each fandom that I more than dabbled in.


	2. this is the last time, I won’t Hurt You Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> choo choo~ all aboard the feels and angst train~!

 

Yuuri jogged all the way to the Ice Castle.  Since it was before six, he was the only one at the rink.  He was grateful that they let him keep the spare keys even after his retirement.

He scrolled through the songs on his mobile.  He kept going until he reached an oldie but a goodie.  He hooked his phone up to the speaker and pressed play.

He had to do it.  He had to convince himself that breaking up with Viktor was the best move for both of them.   And the only way he knew how was to skate his heart out and give his all to other physical labours.

Several weeks had passed since he returned from Russia and he had been ignoring all of Viktor’s calls, texts and emails.  The first night was the very worst.  Every time his phone chimed, he ached to reach for it and check the contents.  The first three nights, he cried himself to sleep until his chest felt like it had been torn apart to shreds.  He felt helpless whenever his chest constricted, feeling as though he could not breathe whilst at the same time, his heart was beating out of control.  Every night, he fell asleep with his heart in shambles, broken and battered into fragments that could not be put back together

Viktor had not made it any easier.  If texts and emails didn’t work, Viktor would leave a dozen voice mails.  At first, Yuuri listened to them out of curiosity and self-pity.  That had proved to be a great mistake.  Hearing Viktor’s messages, ranging from soft, broken-voiced pleads to yelling and rushed rants with Russian words added in, tore at Yuuri’s heart even more.  After a solid two weeks, Viktor finally gave up, his last message being: Goodbye, Yuuri.  Best of luck.  If he had sounded mad or hurt, Yuuri would have felt better.  The formal tone and finality of it bulldozed another hole through Yuuri’s heart.

If he had known how much heartbreak could hurt, he never would have wished to fall in love in the first place.  In fact, he would have put up more of a resistance towards Viktor’s outlandish antics.  Ah, darn it.  Even thinking about it made him choke, unshed tears burning the corners of his eyes.  He shook his head and glided across the ice to the music flowing out from the speakers.

He did not push himself past the triples.  The last thing he needed was an injury due to his unruly emotions.  Halfway through the song, his tears blurred most of his vision.  He pours his anguish and tears into the spins, jumps and steps.  He must look rough and unrefined to any onlookers, if there were any. 

 

 _“And if I was running, you'd be the one who I would be running to_  
_And if I was crying, you would be lining the cloud that would pull me through_  
_And if I was scared, then I would be glad to tell you and walk away_  
_But I am not lying, I am just trying to find my way in to you_

 _You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me_  
_You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay_  
_I don't care what clothes you wear, it's time to love and I don't care_  
_You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me_

 _If I was running_  
_If I was crying_  
_If I was scared_  
_You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me”_

 

He stood at the centre of the rink as the song came to its cadence.   Come to think of it, there had not been a many times when Yuuri showed his tears in front of Viktor.  Okay, he did cry when he won the Grand Prix but that had been tears of joy.  Every second that he had spent with Viktor, he had tried to be strong.  He hadn’t wanted Viktor to ever think that he had made the wrong choice by investing in Yuuri.  He happily accepted his fate as the skater who would be hated for monopolising Viktor; as long as Viktor also monopolised _him_ , it wouldn’t have cared.  Therein lay the problem.  Yuuri couldn’t be Viktor’s weakness anymore. Even if his heart hated him and he would no longer be the shackles that bound Viktor. 

If Viktor stayed with him, he could never reach his true potential.  It was like the time when Viktor was trying to teach him to unleash the true eros within him.  He had told Yuuri that he possessed an eros unique to him.  Try as he might, Yuuri could never be the star that Viktor had seen in him.  It was as Viktor once told him: Yuuri was a mediocre guy who happened to be a decent skater.  Take away the skating and Yuuri had nothing left to lose.

“Aaargh!” Yuuri screamed, falling onto his knees.  Tears fell onto the ice as Yuuri stayed on his hands and knees.  There it was.  The crippling pain that had grown familiar.  Screaming and bawling his eyes out did nothing to help.  If anything, he felt worse after doing that.  Once again, his heart was ripped and shattered into unfixable pieces.  Once again, it hurt just to gasp for air.  Once again, he found himself longing to be with Viktor.  That Viktor could stay with him in Japan, tucked away in the small corner of Hasetsu.

But he couldn’t.  He was being selfish simply by wishing for those things that he should never yearn for.  He had to get over his broken heart and forget about Viktor.  Viktor was better off in Russia.  It was not as though Yuuri was doing a great job maintaining a long-distance relationship.  It was just as he had told Viktor at the airport.  Every second that they weren’t together hurt him.  He knew that it must have been hurting Viktor as well.

So, for the time being, Yuuri had to be the one to let it go. 

Even if it meant that he had to throw away his heart.

 

 

♡

 

 

Yuuri groaned.  His phone had been going off incessantly for the past few minutes.  At first, Yuuri had thought it was an alarm but it clearly wasn’t as it didn’t turn off after a minute.  He snatched up the phone and squinted at the screen.  It read: _February 24, 7:20, 5 missed calls._

“Crap,” he muttered, putting his glasses on.  The calls were all from Yuuko.

“Hello?” he grumbled, stifling a yawn.

“Yuuri! You have to come to the Ice Castle right now!” Yuuko all but shrieked into the phone.

“What?  Why?” Yuuri had been planning on taking it easy today.

“Just shut up and come.  You wouldn’t even believe me if I told you”

“Try me—hey!  Don’t hang up on me!” Yuuri yelled.  What was so urgent that Yuuko had to call him this early. Why was the Ice Castle even open at this time?

The jog over to the rink helped him wake up.  It was still chilly out.  Yuuri was lucky that he had not snowed in a while.  Otherwise, he would have had to take a bus or use his parents car.

“I’m here.  What’s the rush, r—”

Yuuri was cut off with a kick to his stomach.  He doubled over, falling on his hands and knees as he coughed.

“What was that for?  You—huh?”

In front of his eyes is none other than Yuri Plisetsky.  He is wearing a gaudy tiger-print hoodie with the hood drawn up, scowling like Yuuri had committed a crime.

“You dumbshit!” Yuri growled.  He ground his shoes on Yuuri’s forehead.  Yuuri was having so many flashbacks of when Yuri had flown to Japan with only Viktor on his mind. “Do you even have brain up there?”

“Yuri?  I, I don’t understand.  Why are you here?  Is V—h-he here too?”

“For fuck’s sake.  It’s all you’re fault that he’s the shittiest coach I ever had!  You took it the wrong way, didn’t you, you fucker?”

“Slow down,” Yuuri wheezed.  He got back on his feet, dusting off his pants.  “And watch your language.   There are kids here.”  Not to mention that Yuri was still a kid himself.

“What I said back at the Christmas Party,” Yuri explained.  “On Viktor’s birthday, I told you that you didn’t belong in his world.”

“Thanks for that reminder,” Yuuri mumbled.

“Maybe I lied.  Maybe I _was_ a bit drunk back then.  I was jealous of you even though you had retired.  I wanted to be Viktor’s student but all he could talk about was you.  Yuuri this, Yuuri that everything he opened his fucking trap.  I didn’t mean all of it when I said that you shouldn’t even try to work things out.  What I’m trying to say is . . . fuck, I’m sorry.”

Yuuri stood there, blinking.  All he could say in return was a brilliant: ‘Huh?’

“Fucking hell.  Look, Viktor hasn’t been himself since you broke up with him.  He goes through everyday on an autopilot and it’s creepy when he stays so quiet.  He reeks of vodka and cheap perfume from different people everyday.  God knows what he is up to when he doesn’t show up to the rink.”

Anger reared its hideous head in the pit of Yuuri’s stomach.  Viktor was sleeping around?  Was that what Yurio was implying?  Then he remembered that it was he himself who went and broke Viktor’s heart.

“You’re still a brat if you think that I can fix everything by getting back together with Viktor.  It’s more complicated than that, Yurio.  We’re never getting back together.  Ever!  No matter what you say.  Don’t you dare think that you can guilt me into this. 

“Do you know how much it hurt me to break up with him?  What you said to me had a grain of truth to it.  Sooner or later, Viktor and I would have drifted apart.  They don’t say ‘out of sight, out of mind’ as an excuse.  Maybe you don’t know since you’re never loved anyone but it physically hurts to be apart from the one you love.  It doesn’t help that you know that he is surrounded by some of the most talented people in the world.  That kind of thing doesn’t sit easy on someone’s mind.”

“Then grow the fuck up!” Yuri countered.  “There were so many things that you could have done.  Moving to Russia, for instance.  Viktor really did try to move our home base to Japan but Yakov helped him see how idiotic that was.  But now I’m thinking that that might have been a smart move.  Dealing with a drunk and miserable Viktor is way worse than dealing with the Viktor back when he was yours.”

Yuuri gritted his teeth, hands clenching into fists.  “He was never someone who could be mine.  If you’re done, please leave.  They’ll worry about you.”

Yuri snorted.  “See?  You are so pathetically in love that you can’t even say Viktor’s name!  I’ll believe you if you can tell me that you don’t care for Viktor anymore while looking into my eyes.”

“I . . . don’t care about him anymore.  Not in that way anyway.  You wasted your time and money coming all the way here.”

“Liar.  You still couldn’t say Viktor’s name.  Stop being a fucking wimp and man up!”

“Yurio,” said a painfully familiar voice.  Yuuri turned his face away.  “You shouldn’t sneak off in the middle of training.”

“Says the drunkard.  I’ll be waiting outside,” Yurio snarled, pushing past Yuuri on his way out.

“Long time no see, Yuuri,” Viktor greeted.

“N-it’s nice to see you again,” Yuuri replied.  He dropped his gaze to the floor, feigning interest in the dirt-trodden floor tiles.

“Yuuri,” Viktor whispered, taking a step forward.  Yuuri held his arms out, backing away from Viktor.

“Don’t come any closer,” Yuuri warned.  “I meant what I said at the airport.  It’s for the best that we stay as former coach and athlete.”

Viktor gripped Yuri’s wrists and wrenched Yuuri towards him.  He placed Yuuri’s hand on his heart, which was beating erratically.

“Every time I see you, my heart still does this.  There is no cure for it and believe me, I tried everything I could.”

“What?  Whoring around and drinking to the point of being an eyesore to people around you, especially Yurio?”  Yuuri had to do this.   He put more venom into his words that he should have but he had to.  He had to do anything he could to drive Viktor away.

“You talk a big game but your body gives you away.”

Viktor laced his fingers together with Yuuri’s.  He brought them up to wipe the stray tears from Yuuri’s cheeks.  “You don’t have to lie to me or to yourself anymore.  I’ll make it up to you so, please come back to me.”

“No,” Yuuri hurled Viktor’s hands away.  “You shouldn’t waste your time on someone like me anymore.  I’m no longer your athlete.  I refuse to let you sweep me into your current again!  I can’t do this all over for a second time.”

“We won’t,” Viktor soothed.  He took Yuuri’s hands into his and squeezed them.  “This time doesn’t have to be a do-over.  I would much rather pick up where we left off.  Relationships aren’t meant to be easy.  It was just a hiccup brought upon by stress.  So, Yuuri . . .”

Yuuri froze as Viktor’s lips touched his.  They were chapped and cold, presumably from the winter weather.  Viktor was relentless and almost violent.  A few minutes into the kiss, Yuuri remembered that he should not be enjoying the kiss.  He bit Viktor’s lip, hard enough to draw blood.  Despite the coppery taste seeping into their kiss, Viktor did not back down.  Yuuri braced himself as he swung his arm back and punched Viktor on the face.

“You’ve got a mean right hook,” Viktor panted, clutching the left side of his face.  Blood was smeared on his chin as well as the corner of his mouth.

“I told you that we’re done!  Finished!” Yuuri screamed.

“And I told you that I want you back.  Do you want me to go back to whoring around and drinking myself into a stupor?”

Yuuri narrowed his eyes, wiping his mouth.  “That had better not be a threat.”

Viktor shrugged.  “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.”

Viktor grabbed Yuuri’s arm and dragged him away.  Yuuri tried to put up a fight but Viktor was stronger than him and driven by what Yuuri assumed to be equal parts love and lust.

“Yuuri,” Viktor sighed, slamming Yuuri up against the wall in a bathroom stall.  “Please.”

He didn’t have it in his heart to say no when Viktor’s voice broke like that.  This might have been the first time that he had even seen Viktor cry.  His eyes shone a brighter green-blue with the tears.

“Viktor,” Yuuri croaked.  He let his arms fall around Viktor’s shoulders.

“You don’t have to love me,” Viktor pleaded.  “Hold me.  That’s all I ask of you.  For now, please just hold me.”

Yuuri nodded, holding Viktor as if he were a small child.  Viktor dropped his head to Yuuri’s shoulder, hands clutching at Yuuri’s jacket as though Yuuri would disappear if he didn’t hold him like that.

“Yuuri,” Viktor whispered.  “I missed you so much.”

 _I missed you more,_ Yuuri said silently, the words a distant echo in his mind.  He opened his mouth to say it aloud but all that came out was a sob.

Yuuri didn’t resist as Viktor kissed him slowly, hands roaming everywhere on his body.  He remembered that they were is a very public place just as Viktor tugged at the waistband of his joggers.

“W-we can’t,” Yuuri mumbled, gently pushing Viktor’s hand away.

“Why not?” Viktor purred, nibbling on Yuuri’s ear lobe.

“Be-because.  We’re in a-a publ-lic place.  Someone can walk in any second.”

“I don’t recall that stopping you when you jumped me in the hot springs one night.”

Yuuri pouted, fending off Viktor’s persistent hands.  “It was after we closed.”

“Sure, sure.  Would you feel more comfortable if we went back to your place?”

“What about Yurio?”

Viktor shrugged.  “He’s a big boy.  He can’t fly home by himself.”

“Somehow, I doubt that he’ll appreciate it.”

“He didn’t book a hotel and neither did I.  We haven’t got a lot of choices here.”

Yuuri sighed.  “Stay at Yuu-topia then.  My mom will be happy to see you two again.”

“Ah.  Does she know?” Viktor asked, helping Yuuri straighten out his clothes.

“That we broke up?  No.  I could never bring it up around her.”  How could he tell his family that he and Viktor were through when the mere memory of their time together ripped Yuuri apart with raw, unhealed pain?

“Gotcha.  I’ll go tell Yurio, then.”

 

As soon as they were back at Yuu-topia, Viktor slammed Yuuri up against the closest wall, sealing his escape with a burning kiss.  Yurio had said that he wanted to skate for a bit and Yuuri’s family were not home at the moment.  None of the guests happened to witness it. 

Yuuri pushed Viktor away.  “Not here.  I don’t want anyone to see you . . . like that.”

Viktor grinned.  “Your with is my command.”

He scooped Yuuri up into his arms, kissing Yuuri as he protested.  Yuuri did not miss the soft groan that Viktor let slip as he stood back up.  Once they were in Yuuri’s room, Viktor lay Yuuri down onto the bed.  He gazed into Yuuri’s eyes for a long moment.  Even though Yuuri averted his eyes, he could not shake off the feeling that Viktor was staring straight through Yuuri’s lies and pretenses.

It should have been maddening that Viktor still knew where everything was in Yuuri’s room.  He mouthed along an invisible path down Yuuri’s torso as he rummaged around the drawers for condoms and lube.  Yuuri was glad that he hadn’t eaten yet as Viktor thrust a finger inside.  Viktor’s finger felt better than how Yuuri remembered, perhaps due to their break-up.  Even though it was just one finger and Viktor was barely teasing his prostate, Yuuri felt like it could come just from that.

Not to be outdone, he muttered for Viktor to back up so that he could climb onto Viktor’s body with his bum facing Viktor.  He proceeded to suck off Viktor whilst Viktor worked on opening him up in the slowest and the most maddeningly tantalising fashion.

Viktor had just put the second finger in when Yuuri came.  He was surprised by that himself as he had tried so hard to hold back.  He felt Viktor’s cock twitch in his mouth.  Yuuri pulled off, panting against Viktor’s thigh as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Are you sure that you didn’t miss me?” Viktor mused, withdrawing his fingers.  He turned Yuuri’s body so that they could talk face to face instead.  “You body is more honest than that cute little mouth of yours, Yuuri.”

Yuuri bit on his lower lip.  He planted his hands on Viktor’s chest and straddled his hips.

“It’s just sex,” Yuuri emphasised.  “I’m a man so of course my body would crave sex.”

“Liar,” Viktor accused.  He brought one of Yuuri’s hand up to his mouth and kissed the palm.  “But if that makes you happy, go ahead.  I’ll even play along.”

Yuuri shook his head as he lowered himself onto Viktor’s cock.  “Wait,” Viktor semi-yelled.  “You didn’t put a condom on me—ngh.”

“I don’t care,” Yuuri gasped, leaning forward to kiss Viktor on the lips.  “I want to feel all of you tonight.”

“But—mm!”

Yuuri bit his lip, lapping at the small wound he inflicted earlier.  “I told you that I don’t care.  Just . . . just let me have this, Viktor.”

Viktor didn’t look like he agreed but he nodded nonetheless.  Yuuri allowed himself to smile.  He kissed Viktor again as he raised his hips and pushed back down.  His body was telling him to go slower but Yuuri didn’t want that.  He wanted this to hurt a little as a reminder for what he has done almost two months ago.  If it felt too good, he might crumble and let Viktor talk him into getting back together

And that could never happen.

“Yuuri,” Viktor whispers, his breaths tickling the side of Yuuri’s neck.  “You feel so good.”

“Where’s the playboy who’s come to seduce all the pretty young things in town?” Yuuri questioned, clenching around Viktor on purpose.  “Where is the man who could steal anyone’s heart whenever he was on ice?”

Viktor chuckled, the sound quickly dissolving into a moan when Yuuri began bouncing on his lap.  “Still here.”

Yuuri gasped as Viktor pressed his hand against Yuuri’s heart.  He slapped Viktor’s hand away on reflex.  He gathered Viktor’s hands and pinned them above Viktor’s head.  The new position required him to stay low and made manoeuvring tough but it still felt good.

“Yuuri,” Viktor whispered, cradling Yuuri’s head in his arms.  He sighed, sniffing at Yuuri’s hair.  “I really did miss you.”

Yuuri gnawed on his bottom lip until he could taste blood.  He buried his head in Viktor’s shoulder until his mind was whited out from the orgasm.  But it still was not enough.  He wanted more.  He _needed_ more.

“One more time,” Yuuri gasped, rocking his hips.  He smiled to himself when Viktor reacted inside of him.  “Unless you’re too old for this?”

Viktor flipped them over, hovering on top of Yuuri’s body with a haughty expression.  “You’re on.”

If this was all that it took for him to let go, then Yuuri would gladly give his by over to pleasure.  As long as he could keep his broken heart to himself and out of Viktor’s hands, he was fine.

He had to be.

 

 

♡

 

 

Of course Yuuri knew that a purely physical relationship was not the solution to his problems.  But he couldn’t deny that he and Viktor had a spark of something going on between them still. 

Sometimes they would meet every other week only to have sex.  Sometimes, they would go two months in-between their rendezvous.  Yuuri didn’t ask Viktor about his personal life and Viktor reciprocated the favour. 

Months kept passing them by as Yuuri continued to battle his heartbreak.  Before he had realised it, it was the new season for figure skaters around the world.  Yuuri was happy to hear that Yurio was sweeping through the competitions, rising as one of the most likely candidates alongside Christophe and other veterans.

Due to Viktor’s hectic schedule, they have not seen each other once since the international qualifiers had begun.  So Yuuri was back to skating at the Ice Castle late into the night.

Yuuri scrolled through his music folder and tapped on a random song.  As the orchestral melody flowed out, he smiled to himself bitterly.  He tried to keep his routine easy but his body was subconsciously incorporating the elements from his old free programme choreographed by Viktor.  He gritted his teeth and just went with it.

 

 _“I tried many times but nothing was real_  
_Make it fade away, don't break me down_  
_I want to believe that this is for real_  
_Save me from my fear_  
_Don't tear me down_  
  
_Don't tear me down for all I need_  
_Make my heart a better place_  
_Don't tear me down for all I need_  
_Make my heart a better place_  
  
_Give me something I can believe_  
_Don't tear it down, what's left of me_  
_Make my heart a better place_  
_Make my heart a better place”_

 

As Yuuri skating out of the final pose, the lyrics hit hard.  How could he seek to make his heart a better place when it had not been whole for months now?  He even tried to date someone in hopes of soothing his heartbreak with a new love but the first date had been a disaster.  He even tried a gay bar for a one-night stand but that failed epically when he almost threw up into a guy’s mouth after one too many cups of sake.

Whoever said that time healed all wounds should get a taste of their own medicine.  All that the time has done for Yuuri was exaggerate and tweak open the scars at the most random times.

If Yuuri could wake up one day without the ability to feel emotions, he would gladly take up on that offer.

Because as things were right now, life was nothing more than a living nightmare and hell.

 

 

♥

 

 

Yuuri stretches his arms to the side as he wakes out of habit.  He belatedly recalls that Viktor paid a nighttime visit.  He shouldn’t have worried since the space next to him is empty and cold.  He sighs, sluggishly getting out of bed and heading downstairs for breakfast.  He runs into a few of the guests, which prompts him to stay inside the kitchen for his breakfast.

Last night was the first time he has seen Viktor since the season started.  Viktor had the stench of alcohol and someone else’s perfume all over him.  Yuuri knew that he was safe to assume that Viktor might have been with someone else before he came to Yuuri in a drunken haze.

He clenches his hands by his sides.  Why is he getting his hopes up?  It was Yuuri himself who selfishly decided to break up with Viktor and Viktor who selfishly decided to drag out this rocky relationship.  They were not committed to each other by any means, or they shouldn’t have been.

Yuuri knows that he is being predictable.  But there is no better way to distract himself from the bitterness than to skate until his body is too sore to think about such things.  So he jogs over to the rink as he has done for the past several months.  He is surprised that he woke up early enough for it to be empty again.  He has gotten into a habit of coming here either before the open hours or way past the time that they close.

 Today, he has a song in mind that he wants to skate to.  After seeing Viktor insinuate so blatantly about his true feelings, there was no other song but this.  It’s a Korean ballad that is perhaps one of the best songs that describe how a man learns to accept it after his loved one leaves him.

_“When the wind blows and shakes my heart_  
_I close my eyes_  
_Against the bygone years_  
_Quiet trembles that brush past me_  
_I listen close_  
_To those tiny sounds_

 _When pieces of life_  
_That breathe inside of me_  
_Bump into me_  
_I shall look in that place_

 _Our faith_  
_Our love_  
_If you reminisce those eternal promises_  
_And me, I can walk with strength_

 _Our meeting_  
_Our parting_  
_If you loved me_  
_I can smile at those faded memories. . .”_

 

Yuuri stops when he sees Viktor stood outside the rink.  The song continues play but Yuuri doesn’t hear the lyrics.

Yuuri had two choices here:

1) run away and ignore Viktor’s presence or

2) stay and confront Viktor like a man.

 

As much as he would prefer to run away like a coward, that was physically impossible as steel blades performed poorly on ground other than ice.

“Vik . . . tor?  What are you doing here?  I thought you left for Russia already.”

“I lied,” Viktor admits with a smile.

“Why would you do that!  this is a crucial period for Yurio!  Stop being such a selfish bastard, Viktor!”

“Did you truly believe that I could let you go?   That I could be satisfied with just a physical relationship?  You can pretend all you want, Yuuri, but the fact that our love never died will never change.”

Yuuri backs up, raising his hand to push Viktor away.  Viktor stops him easily, grabbing Yuuri’s wrists and brings his hands up to his mouth.

“Yuuri,” Viktor whispers.  “Believe me when I say that I never stopped loving you and never will.  I don’t know what pushed you to think that we had to break up but please come back to me.”

Viktor releases Yuuri’s hands and falls onto his knees.

“Viktor . . . What are you doing?” Yuuri asks in a trembling voice.

“You were so scared of the _‘what if’s’_ that you never stopped to consider the _‘it will’s’_ ,” Viktor mutters, his voice bitter and broken.  “Did you really think that our love was something that could be hindered by something like distance?  We had something great going on for us and I still can't accept that you don’t want that anymore.  I believe in us, Yuuri.  So, please.  Come back to me.”

“I. . . I can’t,” Yuuri mumbles.  “After all that I’ve done, why do you still claim to love me?”

“Because that’s the truth.”

Viktor hugs Yuuri’s legs, nuzzling them.  “I will lock you up if that’s what it takes to keep you with me.”

“That’s awfully cruel of you,” Yuuri whispers. Crap, here come the waterworks.

“If being the worst kind of monster is  what it takes to keep you next to me, I will gladly wear the hide of a monster for you.”

Yuuri chuckles, wiping the tears away from his eyes.  His nose is running as well. What a sight for sore eyes must he be.

“Get up,” Yuuri murmurs.  “You’ll give yourself knee troubles like that.”

“I need to do one more thing, Viktor admits. He shifts to knee and draws up the other.  “I had planned to do this last December but you left before I could ask you what I really wanted to ask you for weeks.”

Yuuri’s eyes widen. No way. Viktor can’t be serious.

“Yuuri,” Viktor starts off.  “I know that I have not been the best boyfriend material but the fact that I love you remains the same.  I’m sorry if I did anything that drove you to the edge, I swear that I will fix it.  Marry me, Katsuki Yuuri, and come live with me in Russia.”

Viktor presents Yuuri with a wedding ring, simple in design yet stunning in its simplicity.

“Idiot . . . We can’t even get married. . .”

“It doesn’t matter,” Viktor insists.  “What matters is that we love each other.’

“You are so full of yourself,” Yuuri sniffles.  “I haven’t even given you my answer yet.”

“Which is?”

“Yes.  I’m sorry that I was an idiot for so long.”

Viktor stands up, sliding the ring onto Yuuri’s finger.  “You have nothing to apologise for.   Just promise me one thing.”

“What is it?” Yuuri asks, smiling through the tears.  He leans into Viktor’s hand as he cups Yuuri’s face in his hands.

“Never let me go again.  Please promise me that one thing.”

“I think I can do that much.”

Viktor grins.  He brings Yuuri’s face to his for a tender kiss.  It’s salty with tears from both of them but sweet nonetheless.  Yuuri remembers where they as the chill from the rink bites into his skin.

“We should get out of here,” Yuuri suggests.  “Rink’s going to open soon and you need to get back to Russia.”

“Will you come with me?” Viktor pleads.  “I miss you and I’m sure Makkachin misses you as well.  I think your parents will understand when we tell them the news.”

Yuuri ponders it.  He has never lived outside of Japan unless it was for training.  It’s scary but when he thinks about how Viktor will be there to help and support him, all the worries disappear.

“Okay.  You’d better teach me some Russian then.”

Viktor laughs, his eyes twinkling in delight.  “Don’t worry, I will.  Besides, I would much rather settle down with you here when Yuri is ready for a different, better coach.  I really did miss this place.”

“Are you sure?” Yuuri asks.  “You’ll be sacrificing so much to live here.”

“It beats having to live apart from you,” Viktor reasons.  “I love you, Yuura.”

Yuuri blushes.  “I, I love you, too.”

Viktor squeezes him into a hug.  “Ah, I feel so much better now.  Shall we?” he holds a hand out for Yuuri.  Yuuri nods as he takes the hand and laces their fingers together.

He can’t quite call the last year a ‘hiccup’ but he knows that this is what he needs.  He can be a braver man for himself and Viktor.

Because in the end, love trumps all.

 

 

♥

 

 

Yuuri turns over.  He is jolted awake when he falls straight off the bed.  He rubs his sore bum as he sits up.  In the centre of the bed is Viktor, limbs spread out and snoring with not a care in the world.  Yuuri crosses his arms, scoffing.  It has been years since they started living together and Viktor still has not fixed his nasty sleeping habits.  Kicking the covers off in his sleep is nothing compared to how he always claims the centre spot on bed, inevitably pushing Yuuri to the edge of the bed.  Half the time, Yuuri wakes up on the precipice of falling off.

“Viktor,” he complains, poking at Viktor’s stomach.  He blushes when he sees that Viktor’s torso is littered with hickeys and bite marks.  They really got into it last night, celebrating Yurio’s big win in their own way.  He should get some water for Viktor since he knows that Viktor is a giant baby when it comes to dealing with hangovers.

“Where d’you think you’re going?” Viktor slurs, wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s (naked) hips.   He bites the small of Yuuri’s back, whilst simultaneously pulling Yuuri back onto the bed.

“I’m getting you water,” Yuuri explains.  “You’re a difficult child to deal with when you’re hungover.”

“Am not,” Viktor grumbles, lips sliding further down Yuuri’s back.

“Are too.  And quit it.  We were supposed to meet them at café in this hotel.”

“Don’t wanna,” Viktor whines.  His hands are poised over Yuuri’s cock, not quite touching him there yet.

“We’re going to late and that will make Yurio mad.  I don’t fancy him chewing us out first thing in the morning.  Or afternoon.”

“Mm-hmm,” Viktor hums, pulling on Yuuri until he plops down on the bed.  He pounces on Yuuri and straddles him in a blink.  For someone who always gripes about being old, he can agile only when it’s convenient for him.

“Viktor . . .” Yuuri warns when Viktor reaches behind him to finger himself.  When did he even get the lube in his hand?

“C’mon, love.  Just one round,” Viktor purrs.  He moans loudly on purpose, his thighs spread wide to give Yuuri a full view.

Yuuri sighs “We both know that it won’t end after ‘just one round’.”

“Perfect.  So you have no complaints then?”

“Fine.  But if you’re so eager, you can do all the work.”

Viktor grins.  “Gladly.”

Yuuri grabs for Viktor’s hands and interlocks their fingers together.  He is lucky that he found his so-called one true love in one go.  As troublesome as Viktor can be, he really wouldn’t have it any other way.

Besides, right now he has the best view in the world so he cant really complain about what will happen in a couple hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Biggest challenge: writing in past tense cuz I write 99.9% of my fics in the present tense.
> 
> The Korean song is “Wind’s Memories (바람기억)” by Naul.  It’s a beautiful song so maybe you should check it out.  As per usual, translations don’t do it justice. The second half was an excuse for me to geek out about music again ^^;
> 
> I wanted to give them an ending like the OiKage one but then I didn’t want to ruin all the positivity ~~read: near canon gay wonderfulness~~ in the eps so far.  Sometimes I just want to let the sadistic fuck in me loose and write the worst ending possible . . . sigh ~~as seen in a few of the 1D fics I have written. I don’t think I’ve written that many fucked up stuff in the anime fandom . . . yet~~


	3. put my Name on the Top of Your List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff, light angst, fluff, smut and more fluff
> 
> quite a bit shorter since I'm not very suited to writing fluffy stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back by popular (?) demand. I read somewhere that trying to salvage a broken relationship with marriage/kids/pets is the worst you can do but shhhh. . . . in the name of yaoi.
> 
> This serves as a filler for what happened during the time skip since the future is around 5 years into the future and I was getting lazy with the writing towards the end.  Someone on tumblr pointed out that Viktuuri must be speaking in imperfect English at times so I tried to implement that whenever possible ^-^ (I feel like I should have done a better job since English is technically my second language)
> 
> Massive thank you to the heart-felt comments btw!  It’s always lovely to see your reactions so don’t think you’re bothering me by pointing out some points in the story :D ~~(safe sex is best sex even when you’re in a committed, loving relationship)~~

 

“Yuuri.”

Yuuri buries his face further into the pillow.  Maybe the voice will go away if he keeps ignoring it. 

“Your ass is still hanging out,” Viktor points out, laughing.

Yuuri jumps up, pulling the covers over his body.  Only, there aren’t any.  He should say that the covers are no longer within the vicinity of the bed.  Yuuri glares at Viktor with reproachful eyes as Viktor waves the blanket at him.

That reminds him, where is he?

Oh, right.  They were on a little holiday.  After they were invited to watch a competition held in South Korea, Viktor insisted that they go on a romantic holiday.  Yuri (Plisetsky) complained about losing time so Viktor told him to keep practicing on his own in Russia if he so desired. 

“Personally, I don’t want you to go into hard training mode,” Viktor cautioned Yuri over the phone.  “Your body has been undergoing tonnes of changes in the last few months and I don’t want to risk any injuries.  Focus more on learning your new body, rather than perfecting the elements.”

Yuuri felt guilty as Viktor continued to chat with Yuri in Russian, like the time when Viktor first announced that he would become Yuuri’s coach.  But he couldn’t say no to Viktor’s face when he looked as excited as Makkachin when they go out for walks.

After the competition and a barrage of interviews, Viktor whisked Yuuri away to Itaewon, the central hub for foreigners in Seoul according to Viktor.  As they walk down the streets, Yuuri can tell that they stand out like a sore thumb even amongst the tourists.  It shouldn’t surprise Yuuri that there are Viktor’s fan who happen to be passing by and asking for pictures and autographs.  That extends to him as well, despite his retirement.

“Viktor,” Yuuri says, glancing at the people around them with their phones out.  “I really think that we should go back to Russia.  There is no real merit to taking your time off coaching Yuri if all we’re doing is taking pictures with your fans.”

Viktor pouts.  “But I’m trying to make up for the time we spent apart.  Cheer up; we have a flight to catch tonight.”

Yuuri’s eyes widen.  “Flight to where?”

“It’s nothing,” Viktor waves his hand dismissively.  “A short hop to Jeju Island.  I hear that it’s warm year-round and I figured that you will enjoy that before we go to Russia.” Ah yes.  Even though Viktor wants to live in Japan with Yuuri, it won’t be possible as long as he is Yurio’s coach.  Viktor was yelled at by Yakov when he expressed his wishes.  Yuuri assured him that he could live in Russia with Viktor.

While that is true, Yuuri still does not appreciate Viktor throwing his money around like that.  He has no choice but to smile as right now, they are approached by even more fangirls.

 

Night could not have come sooner.  Even though it’s a short flight, Yuuri falls asleep as soon as the plane takes off.  He is woken by Viktor after they have landed.  Viktor has to practically carry him off to the hotel.

In the morning, Yuuri is the first one to wake up.  He looks at Viktor’s peaceful, sleeping face before he leaves the bed to go to the bathroom.  He washes his face in a daze, wondering how he has ended up here.

Yuuri startles as he sees Viktor come up behind him to hug him.  He doesn’t miss the hurt look in Viktor’s eyes, hastily covered up by a cheerful smile.  After all, only a handful of days have passed since their rather dramatic reunion.  The ring on his finger still feels like a leaden weight and every time he sees it glitter on his hand, it catches him off guard.

“Good morning, Yuuri,’ Viktor greets, settling for an one-armed hug.

“G-good morning,” Yuuri replies.  Guilt knots his stomach, so he takes it upon himself to turn around and hug Viktor.  “What’s the plan for today?”

A knock sounds from the door.  Viktor holdings up his forefinger.  “We’ll get back to that.”

“Put some clothes on!” Yuuri reminds him as Viktor goes to answer clad only in (tight) boxers. 

“Whoops,” Viktor chuckles, pulling on the dressing robe in the closet next to the bathroom door.  Yuuri follows Viktor out and goes to sit at the small dining table.  He fills up a kettle and places on the stove.  Thankfully, there is an assortment of teas and not just coffee.

In a minute, Viktor returns with a tray full of breakfast.  Viktor grins at him, setting the table.

“So, what’s the plan?” Yuuri asks around a mouthful of buttered toast.

“There’s this beach that we need to check out.  I know it’s almost winter but we can still walk on the sand and stuff.  Then there is a teddy bear museum, isn’t that adorable?  Makkachin could use another place.  Then the rest is up to you other than a romantic dinner,” Viktor answers.

“A beach?”  Yuuri has to admit, he is rather skeptical of going to the beach at this time of the year.

“It’s supposed to be beautiful.  The entire island was formed by volcanic activities so the colour of the sand is unique.  Plus, I’ve always liked the sea.”

Right.  He recalls them having a conversation at the beach in Hasetsu when Yuuri was having trouble producing his free programme.  It was there that Viktor told him about his hometown and proposed that he become Yuuri’s boyfriend.  They have come such a long way since that time.

The beach is nicer than what Yuuri anticipated.  The ocean breeze isn’t freezing and the view is rather great as Viktor said.  He is surprised to see a handful of people taking a dip in the ocean.

“How are you enjoying the day so far?” Viktor asks, throwing down a thick blanket on the sand for them to sit on.  Viktor sits down first, his upper body reclining.  Feeling brave, Yuuri sits down right next to Viktor with his head on Viktor’s shoulder as he leans into him.

“It’s nice.  I’m still worried about Yurio, though.”

“Stop thinking about him, seriously,” Viktor complains.  “Yakov is at his rink so if he needs a coach, Yakov can fill in.  Of course, I’ll owe him when I get back but that’s a different matter.”

“Can we go to Russia tomorrow?” Yuuri pleads.  “No, wait.  I guess we’ll have to stop by Hasetsu for me to pack up first.  We need to go back to Russia as soon as we can, Viktor.  You don’t have to feel so guilty about the last year.  I’m the one who broke up with you.”

“And I’m the one who tried to keep you caged with a physical relationship,” Viktor murmurs.

“Don’t act like you forced it upon me.  As they say in English: it take two to tango.”

“Hello, boys,” a female voice purrs.  Yuuri has to work on not scowling up at the intruding voice.  Well.  The voice belongs to a busty woman with pretty blonde hair.  She is wearing only a thin shirt and tight jeans that show off her figure.  “Are you visiting as well?”

She has her arms crossed in front of her chest, as if she needed to emphasize them any further.  Yuuri feels jealousy rise and gnaw at the pit of his stomach.  Calm down.  Viktor is his.

“Ah, yes,” Viktor answers with a polite smile. 

“Are you free tonight by any chance?” she asks, her voice turning sultry.

That’s it.  Yuuri isn’t going to stay and watch a pretty woman flirt with his boyfriend.  That was the last thing on his mind when Viktor first suggested that they take some time off.  He marches off without saying anything.

He walks without a specific destination in mind. He doesn’t even realise that he has walked right into a cave until he notices that it’s awfully dark for daytime.  He hates himself for getting worked up like this but that doesn’t change the facts.  Viktor is a beautiful man and there always will be people vying for his attention.

He tries to swallow back his tears but that is all in vain.  He sniffles, hating the sound of his ugly cries that bounce off the cave walls.

“Yuuri!” he hears Viktor call out after a minute or so.  “Don’t run off like that.  You scared me.  Why did you do that, Yuura?”

Yuuri explodes. “I still worry about the time we spent apart, you know!  Don’t you dare think that I didn’t notice you stumbling home drunk reeking of booze, perfumes and even cigarettes!  Of course I’d get mad when a beautiful woman like her comes up to us and practically shoves her breasts I’m your face!  You see me as someone that I’m not because of love but truth is uglier than your version of reality!”

Viktor stares at Yuuri silently.  He sighs and walks up to Yuuri but maintains his distance by taking a few steps backwards.

“Yuuri,” Viktor says in a solemn tone that is a total departure from his usual flirty tone.  “Whenever I look at you, I see the real you.   It’s not something exaggerated by my love for you.  And you don’t have to look a certain way to be loved, either.   The only reason why I was harsh about your weight last year was strictly for your performance.  I don’t care that you’ve gone soft around the hips.  In fact, I love it.  You didn’t see it but I told that woman that I have no interest in a slutty bitch who will spread her legs for any handsome man she first met.”

Yuuri arches am eyebrow.  “Aren’t you—how do you say this in English—tooting your horn too much there?”

Viktor clears his throat.   “That is not the point here.  And I admit that I have been promiscuous during our time apart but that was only because I didn’t have you!  I’m still young and foolish enough to have thought that physical materials could cure my broken heart.  And if you’re wondering about the night before I proposed to you, I didn’t come to your place for a second round. The people I was drinking with sent me home ‘cause I was hammered.  In my drunken mind, the only home I could think of was you.”

“R-really?” Yuuri stammers. He remembers that he is supposed to be mad.  “How do I know that for sure?”

“You don’t,” Viktor deadpans.   “All you can do is trust the me and the love you have for me.”

Yuuri lets Viktor take his hand and kiss the palm.  He doesn’t even plan on it, but he slides his hand up to the crown of Viktor’s head.  Viktor’s body tenses up and he falls to his knees.

“You are so mean when you want to be,” Viktor sniffles.  “Has it gotten that bad in the past year?”

“No, no, no!” Yuuri panics.  “I didn’t mean to do it.  Your hair is still as thick as ever!  I swear!”

Viktor sighs.  “Whatever.  Let’s just go to the Teddy Bear Museum.  It’s supposed to be cute and stuff.”

The museum is within a walking distance from the sea.  Yuuri is certain that his eyes are rimmed red, and rubbing at them is not helping.

“You look fine,” Viktor assures him.  “Better than fine.  You’re so cute that I can hardly keep my hands off you.”

“I don’t think you’re trying hard enough,” Yuuri deadpans.  Case in point, Viktor has his arm wrapped around Yuuri’s waist, his hand hovering above his bum.

Viktor chuckles.  “Should I try harder then?”

“No.  I don’t mind.”

The museum is, indeed, cute.  There is a huge variety of stuffed bears and Viktor has fun taking and posting pictures.  He makes Yuuri pose with him in the majority of them, often squishing their faces together.

At the end of the tour, they stop by the café that overlooks the beach.  So far, they haven’t been met with a lot of language barrier as they have been sticking to the popular tourist destinations that are more or less used to foreigners.  Yuuri indulges in the overpriced pastries and a cup of tea.  He initially feels guilty for ordering all of that but when he sees how much Viktor orders, he doesn’t feel so bad.  Besides, Viktor just told him that he needn’t worry too much about the way he looks.

Afterwards, they take a detour and decide on a scenic route back to their hotel.  During the drive, they come across a sign that reads ‘Jeju Loveland”.  Intrigued by the title, Yuuri asks Viktor to pull into the road.

The Loveland turns out to be an outdoor sculpture park designed around the theme of love.   Yuuri should clarify; it’s centred around the theme of sexual love.  The sculptures are highly sexual in nature and Yuuri can’t keep a straight face when he is looking at sculptures that are shaped like genitalia!  Viktor doesn’t seem to mind at all, going right up close to the statues to read the plaques.

“They even have sexual education programmes,” Viktor muses, reading a brochure.  “I didn’t know that Korea had a place like this.  Thanks, Yuura.”

“N-n-no problem,” Yuuri stutters.  There is no safe place to look at in this place.

“Want to stop by the gift shop?” Viktor suggest.

“I think we’re good,” Yuuri replies.  Viktor wants to buy sex toys?  Seriously?

“If you say so,” Viktor singsongs.  He checks his wristwatch.  “Aww, we still have a couple hours before dinner.  What should we do?”

Yuuri has to push Viktor towards their rental car.  “We can chill at the hotel.  Please.”

“Why are you acting so flustered?  You’ve seen di—”  Yuuri doesn’t let him finish his sentence.

“Please don’t say such crass things out in public,” Yuuri requests, feeling his entire face go red.

Viktor laps at Yuuri’s palm but he holds on.  He only lets go when they have to get inside the car.

“Like I said, cute.”

Yuuri pouts.  “Shu-shut up.”

Viktor chuckles.  He leans over the console and kisses Yuuri fully on the mouth.  If Yuuri lets the kiss go on for a few minutes, well, he isn’t made of stone.

 

 

♥

 

 

It has been a week since their impromptu trip to Korea.  Since then, Yuuri has gone back home to pack for Russia while Viktor flew off to Russia from the Incheon International Airport.

And now, Viktor has come to pick him up from the Sheremetyevo International Airport.  He helps Yuuri with his luggage and take another flight to get to St. Petersburg. 

“How’ve you been?” Viktor asks as they pull into the highway.

“Good.  My mom’s sending a few more boxes in the next few days.”

“Okay.  But did you miss me?”

Yuuri blushes.  “Of course I did.  I hope you’ve been a good coach to Yurio.”

“That depends on your definition of ‘good’.  He chewed me out on my first day back.  He hasn’t been at the top of his condition because of the growing pains.  You’ll be surprised to see how much he has grown since you last saw him.”

He does recall Yuuri being slightly taller when he came to the Ice Castle to kindly tell Yuuri what Viktor has been up to.  He also remembers Viktor fretting about the upcoming events as they are not sure if Yurio is in the right condition to participate.  If worst comes to worst, Yurio will place horribly and will have to take the season off.  Knowing Yurio, however, he won’t give up that easily.

Yuuri dozes off in the car, once again waking up when they are at Viktor’s house and Viktor kisses him awake.  Nothing has changed there.  Makkachin wags its tail and barks happily, jumping up at Yuuri.  Yuuri laughs as he pets it on the head.

“Let’s go to bed,” Viktor says, his hand on the small of Yuuri’s back.  “I know how much travelling tires you out”

Yuuri bites on his lower lip.  Yes, he is exhausted.  But he feels as though he is owed something more than a welcome back kiss.  So he stretches up to his tiptoes and plants a kiss on Viktor’s lips, clinging to him.

“Kiss me more,” Yuuri demands.  “Touch me and make sure that there aren’t any doubts in my mind that I’m yours and you’re mine.  Please, Viktor.”

Viktor tries to say something but Yuuri doesn’t let him.  He folds his arms behind Viktor’s neck, locking them into a kiss.  He pulls out every trick that he has ever learnt (from Viktor’s kisses) and presses his body up against Viktor’s until not even air can fit between the.  He knows the moment Viktor gives in because he picks Yuuri up and takes him to the couch.  Makkachin, who has been resting there, woofs before he goes elsewhere.

“You drive me insane, you know?” Viktor whispers, hands scrambling to undress them.  “Ever since I saw you skate my routine and even before you unleashed the eros within you, I have ben captivated by you.  The way you create music with your entire body is something that I have never seen in anyone else.”

He kisses Yuuri until they run out of breath.  When they do, he shifts his focus to Yuuri’s bared body, mouthing, nipping, and licking all the way down from his face down to his groin.  Yuuri watches as Viktor takes his half-hard cock into his mouth, swallowing around it eagerly.

“Viktor. . .” Yuuri groans.  It’s been a week and he has been too busy packing up to leave a freaking country to take care of himself this way.  Every little touch sets his nerves afire and he wants more.

“Tell me, Yuuri,” Viktor whispers, lips brushing along the shell of Yuuri’s ear.  “Tell me exactly what you want me to do.”

 

 

♥

 

 

Oh, man.  Yuuri is not looking forward to seeing Yuri again.  Despite the amazing night he just had with Viktor, he is feeling on edge.  The little punk has never been fond of Yuuri and come to think of it, he was the indirect reason why Yuuri broke up with Viktor in the first place!  If Yuri had not pointed out the vast difference between Yuuri and Viktor, Yuuri never would have felt so insecure.

“Yuuri?” Viktor ducks his head inside the car.  Crap!  They are at the rink already.  Viktor insisted that Yuuri come with him to the rink and watch him coach Yuri as opposed to staying at Viktor’s house all day.

“Coming!” he calls out.  He bumps his head on the frame as he climbs out, trips over the ledge on the sidewalk, and nearly walks into the doors.

“Are you even awake right now?” Viktor chuckles, rubbing Yuuri’s forehead for him.

“I am,” Yuuri sighs.  He stiffens back up when he spots Yurio in the distance.  Yurio must have seen Yuuri, too, since he strides up to the two of them.

“You piece of shit coach,” Yuri growls.  “You ditch me for a week and now you’re late to practice?  You’re supposed to prioritise me as your student, not some washed-up retired skater!”

“Good to see you again too,” Yuuri mumbles.

Yuri sighs.  “I guess I owe you an apology.”

“Huh?” is Yuuri’s ever so intelligent reply.

“I spoke out of line when I said that you don’t belong with Viktor.  All my life, I’ve been taught that men . . . being with other men was wrong.  I couldn’t accept that the man I looked up to could turn out like that.  I blamed you for taking Viktor away the year before and also for turning him gay or some shit.  But seeing Viktor go down a self-destructive path made me realise that I was wrong.  So don’t you dare leave him again, no matter what people say.  I can’t win if my coach can’t function like a normal human being.”

“Ah, uhm,” Yuuri can’t quite find the words to say.  Yuri’s body is not the only thing that’s been changing, it seems.  “Thanks for saying that, Yuri.”

Yuri looks away, a hint of pink on his cheeks.  “It’s not like I care about you or anything, you fatso!”

Yuuri can barely hold in his laughter as he watches Yuri stomp off. A girl with short brown hair clings to Yuri, which seems to piss him off even more.

“What’s this all about?” Viktor inquires, his face way too close to Yuuri’s face for comfort.  Especially when there are so many skaters watching them intently.

“It’s nothing,” Yuuri assures him.  “He said something insensitive last Christmas.  It doesn’t matter now that we’re back together, right?”

Viktor frowns.  “Whatever he said was enough to make you think that you had to break up with me.  That is not nothing.”

“Come on, Viktor.  You’re here as Yuri’s coach, not my boyfriend right now.”

“Fiancé,” Viktor corrects him.

“Y-yeah.  Anyway, go!”

Maybe coming to the rink was a mistake.  Seeing all these skaters glide around on ice and train all around him makes him want to put on a pair of skates and skate again.  Sadly, he didn’t think to bring his skates here.  They are at Viktor’s place, but it will be a bother to go back.  He could always rent a pair but he hates doing that.

“So?” Viktor comes up to him during a break.  “What do you think?”

Yuuri smiles.  “I think Yuri has another great season ahead of him.”

Viktor shrugs.  “That’s only if puberty doesn’t come along and screws it all up.  The signs are there.  Best scenario would be that he doesn’t go through puberty until he finishes the Grand Prix Series or that the physical changes will not be so drastic.”

Yuuri nods.  He can recall the frustration and anguish that he felt when he was going through puberty.  Everything about his body felt foreign and there were nights when he cried himself to sleep out of frustration.  Although, he can’t imagine Yuri shedding a single tear, much less crying himself to sleep.

“I’m going to tell Yurio to stick to basic training for the rest of the day,” Viktor announces.

“Eh?” is Yuuri’s brilliant response.  “You can’t shuck your coaching responsibilities like that!”

“Watch him, then,” Viktor instructs.

Yuuri raises his eyebrows, but complies nonetheless.  Yuri seems to be doing fine.  Or not.  Now that he has set his mind to it, he can see the jerkiness in Yuri’s transitions, the preparatory movements, and even him fumbling his jumps.  That’s a side of Yurio that Yuuri has never seen before.

“Yurio!” Viktor calls out.  “I’m calling it a day.  If you keep pushing yourself like that, you’ll injure yourself for sure.”

The younger Russian shouts back something in Russian and Yuuri can tell just from the tone that they were not polite things to say to a coach.

Viktor sighs.  “Yuri.  I’ve told you before that you’re much more mediocre than you give yourself credit for, haven’t I?  Get your ass off the ice before I drag you off.”

Yuri scowls as he comes off the ice.  Viktor goes up to him and hands him the covers and a bottle of water.  He pats Yuri on the back and says something to him in Russian.  Yuri scoffs and stomps away.

“He’s so stubborn.  Days like this makes me miss coaching you, Yura.”

“R-really?” Yuuri stutters.

“Back then, I could stay with you all day and no one would question it.  I truly hated having to be apart from you last year.  That was why I had been planning to propose to you around my birthday.  I keep wondering if things wouldn’t have gone awry had I found the courage to propose to you back then.  Back before everything in my life unraveled.”

“Don’t say that,” Yuuri mumbles.  “It was my own insecurity and anxiety that put our relationship on hold, not your hesitation.  Let’s go back home, okay?”

Viktor grins.  “I love hearing that from you.”

Yuuri blushes.  “Y-you . . . I . . . forget it.”

As they return to Viktor’s place, Yuuri ponders what Viktor said.  There is only so much that he can express in English.  At the same time, he is not expecting Viktor to start learning Japanese, and he doesn’t think he can ever attempt to learn Russian.

He shakes his head.  Overthinking has never fared well for him in the past.  He should focus on adjusting to life in Russia, not something like that.

 

 

♥

 

 

Yuuri is feeling the strangest sense of déjà vu as he fends off drunken and naked Viktor’s advances in a restaurant.  Well, at least three years ago in China, they were in a booth that was more secluded than this.  It doesn’t help that they are surrounded by their friends.

“Viktor,” he chides, trying to put the clothes back on Viktor.  Viktor groans and resists but there isn’t much that he can do with his sluggish arms.  “Let’s go home already.”

“We gosha sherebrate,” Viktor slurs as Yuuri pulls his briefs on.  The pants are under the table and Yuuri has to feel for them blindly as he knows that Viktor will strip the moment Yuuri takes his eyes off.

“Go home, Viktor,” Yurio growls.  “You’re fucking drunk.”

“Yuriiiiii~” Viktor singsongs.  “Why aren’ you happieerr?  You wooonn~”

“I am!  I’m just not in the mood to watch you make a fool out of yourself!” Yuri retorts.

“We’re leaving now,” Yuuri says, pulling the sweater over Viktor’s head.  He picks up Viktor’s jacket and practically carries him outside.  There are a few paparazzi waiting outside so Yuuri does his best to keep Viktor from saying foolish things.

Once they get to the hotel, Yuuri lets go of Viktor.  Viktor stumbles to the bed, glances over his shoulder towards Yuuri, and comes back to Yuuri.  He kisses Yuuri, pressing him up against the wall.

“Viktor!” Yuuri gasps into the kiss.  “Let’s just go to sleep, okay?”

Viktor shakes his head, not unlike a petulant child.  “I wanna shleep wid you.”

Yuuri gulps.  A part of him wants to let Viktor have his way but the more rational part of his mind doubts if Viktor can even get it up.

“Let’s go to bed first,” Yuuri coaxes.  Thankfully, Viktor listens to that. 

As soon as they are at the bed, however, Viktor’s switch flips again.  He takes his clothes off in record time and does the same to Yuuri’s.  He cuts off Yuuri’s escape route by pinning him down to the mattress.  For someone who is extremely inebriated, Viktor is surprisingly strong.

“I knew that you’d come back to the hotel early if I acted drunk,” Viktor smirks.

Yuuri’s jaw falls open.  It was an act? “Viktor!  You can’t do that!  You should have said something if you wanted to come back early.  It’s not nice—umf.”

Viktor silences him with a quick peck.  “Are you saying that you don’t want to have sex right now?”

Yuuri pouts.  “I just don’t think that it’s fair that you made me ditch our friends because you wanted to have sex.”

“I’ll make it worth your while.”  As per usual, Viktor produces a condom and a small bottle of lube out of thin air.  Yuuri is surprised when Viktor reaches behind him and slides two fingers inside of himself.

“You were planning this all along, weren’t you?” Yuuri accuses.  He plucks off the lube from Viktor’s fingers and drizzles a generous amount onto his fingers.  He pushes a finger of his own inside Viktor next to Viktor’s fingers, making him moan hotly into Yuuri’s ear.

“What if I have?” Viktor chuckles.  He takes his fingers out and scoots down.  Yuuri can only gawp as Viktor licks at the leaking tip of Yuuri’s cock.  “You don’t seem to be complaining.”

“I doubt that any man in the world can think up complaints when his lover is sucking his dick,” Yuuri mumbles.

Viktor pulls off with an exaggerated loud pop.  “Dirty talk from my Yuura.  I love it.”

Yuuri tangles his fingers into Viktor’s hair and stops him from bobbins his head back down.  “Should I entertain you some more?”

“As much as I would love that, I’m feeling quite impatient tonight.”  He pick up the condom packet and tears it open between his teeth and his fingers.  “I want you to fuck me into oblivion.”

Yuuri’s entire face feels like it will burn up.  Yeah, as if he can even attempt to dirty talk Viktor when the man is an expert himself.

So he settles for kissing Viktor as Viktor braces himself and slowly sinks down.  It’s been weeks since they had time to go all the way, and much longer since Yuuri topped Viktor.  The heat and tight sensation should be illegal as he is already on the verge of losing it.

Viktor looks as beautiful as he always does even when he is cloaked in darkness.  Every single movement as he bounces atop Yuuri’s thighs is rhythmic and elegant.  His head is thrown back, lips parted to let his moans and breathy gasps fall through them.

Yuuri sits up on an impulse, wrapping his arms around Viktor.  He kisses Viktor tenderly as he rocks his hips up to match Viktor movement for movement.  He knows that Viktor is drawing close too when his kisses grow more biting and demanding against Yuuri’s lips.

“ _Ai-aishiteru,”_ Yuuri blurts out.  Oh, crap.  This is way more embarrassing than the usual ‘I love you’ in English.

Viktor freezes up mid-bounce as does Yuuri.  A thousand different thoughts and excuses cross Yuuri’s mind as the stillness bores one.  Yuuri loses his train of thought as Viktor falls forward and takes Yuuri down with him.  He bumps his forehead against Yuuri’s.

“ _Aishiteru_ ,” Viktor echoes.  “What does that mean?” he whispers right into Yuuri’s ear.

“Ah, not-nothing?

Viktor cocks his head.  “But it’s always been ‘ _daisuki’_ , hasn’t it?”

Crap.  Yuuri hasn’t counted on Viktor’s observational skills to dig his way out of this.

“I-it means ‘I love you,” Yuuri murmurs, turning his face away from Viktor’s.  “And ‘ _daisuki’_ is translated as ‘I like you a lot’ in English.”

Viktor kisses Yuuri’s shoulder, rocking his hips in figure-eights.  “I think it’s the first time I heard you say _‘aishiteru’_ though.”

Yuuri gnaws on his lips before he answers.  “That’s be-because Japanese people rarely say ‘I love you’ to each other.  It’s . . . it’s just the way we are.  Can we please not keep talking about this?”

“Okay, okay,” Viktor relents.  “But don’t think that I’ll just let this go.”

 

 

♥

 

 

In the morning, Yuuri wakes up with delightfully sore hips and with Viktor sleeping on top of his body.  Last night’s event come rushing back and he covers his face in embarrassment.  He can only hope that Viktor was drunker than he claimed.

As he sits up on the edge of the bed and stretches, his body is pulled back towards the centre of the bed.  Viktor smiles up at him lazily, the smile melting into a yawn.

“Morning, Yuuri.  Ready to have that talk?”

Yuuri groans.  “You’re so persistent about the weirdest things.  I explained everything that I could last night.”

Viktor smirks.  “Does this mean that you’ll say _‘aishiteru’_ to me from now on?”

“N-no! Yes?  Maybe?” Yuuri stutters.  He feels heat rise to his face. 

“Have I told you how much I love you?  And how adorable you are?”  He pulls Yuuri down and hugs Yuuri’s head to his chest.

“At least a dozen times a day,” Yuuri replies.  “Stop calling me adorable.  I’m a grown man, you know.”

Viktor kisses the top of Yuuri’ head.  “Doesn’t change the fact that you are adorable.”

Yuuri rolls his eyes.  “We need to get up.  Breakfast bar closes soon.”

“Then we’ll go out for brunch,” Viktor says simply.  “Let me indulge in you some more.”

Yuuri isn’t exactly opposed to that, especially when he can feel Viktor’s morning wood poke at him through the covers.

“One round,” Yuuri declares.  “We are not spending all day having sex.”

Viktor flashes him a crooked smile.  “You overestimate my stamina.  One round, I promise.”

Yuuri has his doubts but he kisses Viktor anyway.  It’s not as though he will complain if one round turns into three.

 

 

♥

 

 

“I’ve been thinking,” Viktor starts off.

“Oh no,” Yuuri jokes.  “Thanks for the heads up.”

Viktor pouts, mock-glaring at Yuuri.  Yuuri laughs, kissing Viktor as an apology.  Even though Viktor is now in his thirties, he still acts like a petulant child at times.

“Sorry,” Yuuri kisses Viktor on the mouth until his glare is smoothed out.  “You were saying?”

“We’ve been engaged for a few years now,” Viktor states.

“Yeah?”  Five years, two months and twenty-four days to be exact.

“Shouldn’t we tie the knot?”

“What—don’t be—we live in Japan—I don’t understand—Viktor?” Yuuri stammers.

Viktor grins.  “You’re too cute.  There are places in the world that allow same-sex marriages, you know.”

“I do know that,” Yuuri replies.  “But it won’t mean anything back here.  You don’t have to say or do anything.  Just stay by my side, Viktor.”

“There goes my grand plan to elope,” Viktor feigns a sigh.  “Are you sure that you don’t want to get married to me?”

Yuuri interlocks his hands with Viktor’s.  He brings Viktor’s left hand to his and kisses the ring on his fourth finger.  “This is enough for me.  We don’t need fancy suits and an old man to declare us husband and husband to validate our love.

Viktor pretends to sigh.  “If that’s what you really want, Yura.”

“It is.”  He stares into Viktor’s eyes.  He clears his throat to stall for time before he utters: “ _Aishiteru-yo, Viktor,”_

Viktor grins. _“Aishiteru, Yuuri.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna get a head start on my assignments and studying for the finals but fuck.  The Kiss™ happened.  I literally screamed and teared up and re-watched the crying scene, his free programme + kiss a dozen times. And I just realised that I kinda predicted The Kiss™? It was the other way around in my story but still.  Let me have my fun.
> 
> I haven’t been all of the places mentioned in Korea but holy shit.  I did not know that they had a fucking sculpture park full of dicks and vaginas.  Good on you, Jeju.  Good on you . . .
> 
> One of the many good things that MAPPA has done is not shove love in our faces as a cure-all for anxiety.  As someone with depression and some anxiety, I know that having the loved on with you isn’t always going to help you.  It’s hard to show the anxiety side of you to your loved ones like Yuuri did in the episode.  Yuuri expressed that and Viktor is still learning and honestly, he literally did not know how to handle Yuuri’s crying.

**Author's Note:**

> would you like to see Viktor's POV from the break-up to their reunion?


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